Always Here
by Freckle359
Summary: Castiel has gone crazy with power, Sam is struggling with his memories of hell and now, Dean is stuck with a new problem. An Angel pops up to him with no memory of who she is but refuse's to leave his side. 'I must protect You Dean... I dont know why..'
1. Chapter 1

He's there... Just off in the distance. Sitting quietly alone within the forest of snow and dried trees. It was a stillness she never seen before, a heaviness that made her breath catch short. Where was she? How did she come to be here? Glancing down, trembling hands of her own touched the wet snow, feeling the light texture before watching it melt away to drops of water. She didn't remember anything… Nothing. Tilting her head back up, she stared at the man before her, his eyes cast down, hands laced together tightly in need. He looked so troubled, so twisted in pain, in confusion that she wanted to reach out to grab the trail of his tan trench coat and snap him from his thoughts.

_"That's why... I'm asking you father. One last time."_

His voice was so deep it made her back shiver and her chest tighten. It was filled with such need, such lost she couldn't bring herself to speak out. Who was he? How did they get here? Did he see her at all?

_"Am I doing the right thing?"_

Her stranger with dark hair, so brown it faded to a black to the roots, let his blue eyes cast up to the cloudless sky. His voice speaking out helpless, tiredly that she too joined in his gaze.

_"Am I on the right path?"_

She closed her eyes at the feeling of sudden warmth evolving around her body. The cold wind rustled her hair but she didn't feel the bitter kiss of winter. No. She felt warm fingertips brushing along her arms till they wrapped around her body. Gripping tight and holding her close. When her eyes opened, she saw no arms, no other body beside her own yet she felt it. She felt someone close, holding her, shielding her, protecting her. Why?

_"You have to tell me! You have to give me…a sign."_

'Who are you?' She called out but her stranger just kept gazing at the sky. His hands parted in a gesture of waiting to catch his answer from the bright white sky. She tried to move closer but the invisible bonds kept her at bay. She could only watch this man struggle, seeing the unshed tears of frustration, of all the things he has done to that point of time.

He bowed his head and she watched him tremble, his voice break as those tears dropped quickly to the snow without grazing his cheek. _"Give me a sign."_ He asked again, his teeth clenching together in a vain effect to keep his emotions at bay but she could see them, they rang loud and clear in those crystal blue eyes.

_"Cuz if you don't I'm gonna cho-"_ His words broke as his lips pressed together. She tried again to reach for him. "Don't do it." She called out with a shake of her head, sending her black hair flying along her back, her voice cracked in a scream as those bonds burning hotter against her skin, pulling her away. "Don't do it!"

_"I'm gonna do whatever I- whatever I must…"_

Those bonds began to drag her away when her stranger looked back up to the white sky, his face twisted in sorrow for an answer that did not come. Silence was given and his body broke in a hunch as his head bowed back down, defeat written all over his posture. "DON'T DO IT!" She screamed, her legs kicking at the ground, at the snow to get his attention. She feared, she didn't know of what but she feared it with all of her heart. She cried openly, letting her tears run down her face helplessly as her stranger grew smaller in the distance. She didn't want to go away from him, she wanted to be closer, be at his side. "Don't!"

But as her stranger began to fade in the distance, a movement causes her body to snap still and her tear filled eyes widen. The blue eye man looked up when another figure appeared beside him. Someone with long blonde hair whom was dressed warmly to the climate. She struggled to see over the bushes and bare tree branches, to glance at the person who stood beside him, who reached out their pale hand and touched him so tenderly upon the cheek. It was a women, she could tell that much. Taking a breath, she screamed out causing the blond women to stiffen and turn towards her. She almost got a glimpse of her face but a sudden bright light pieced her eyes causing her to look away. The bonds suddenly let her go and her body felt weightless. Something wasn't right and then as suddenly as she was being pulled, she was falling. She screamed out, opening her eyes to the rushing wind. What was going on? She didn't understand. She kicked her legs and flung out her arms to grasp anything to stop her but her eyes saw nothing but emptiness, darkness. Falling through a tunnel where down below a circle of white light awaited her, growing bigger and bigger the closer she got. She was scared, she didn't understand.

_'Must…protect...'_

A soft voice echoed into her ears, louder than the rushing air. Her face twisted in confusion as she looked around. "What's going on?" She cried out, her arms bracing over her face to block the painful air that struck her face. "I don't understand!"

_'Must…protect…him…'_

"Protect who?" A hard force struck her arms causing her body to flip, sending her falling down backwards instead. Her eyes struggled past her own hair that moved helplessly in the wind before her, to let her stare up at the emptiness of the black sky she fell from. She stared until a picture began to suddenly appear, little dots of color connection into a large scale and as she fell further and further away, the picture became clear. It was of a man, a different man with short light hair that spiked towards the front of his forehead. A stubborn jaw line and small freckles along his nose and cheeks, barely visible to the tan he seem to have. She knew him, she didn't know how or where but she knew him.

_'Protect…' _

The voice whispered into her ear once more before her body struck the white light, casting her into a sudden whirl wind of pain that left her paralyzed.

_'I'll protect you…'_

Her eyes flashed open when her body with filled with needed air. Her lung burned and her body trembled with pain. She coughed out, trying to suck in as much air she could hold, her arms curling into her chest to hug herself while her nerves spiked on panic. With another cough she managed to roll onto her side, the rough ground rubbing her skin painfully. Shaking her head lose of dizziness, her blurry eyes struggled to look around at her surroundings.

Pushing herself to her hands and knees she felt her strength suddenly vanish leaving her to lean her weight onto the side of one of the two beds in the room. She began to look around again and from the look of things; she was in a motel room. Her brain was rattled and blank as she tried to remember what just happened or how she came to be in this dirty place but no answer came. No spark of sudden wisdom entered her to grasp the understanding of this whole madness. With a bowed head, she fell forward, her body laying flat onto the carpet; giving into the need to stay still and relax. To let her body regain what it lost. Blinking away the mist that covered her mind, she suddenly noticed an object lying just within her reach. Her pink lips frowned in confusion as she reached out, gently touching and pulling it closer. It was a necklace, a long black leather strap tied on both ends with a golden small charm, looked to be a demon head with horns resting at the bottom of it.

"Where…did you come from?" She asked softly, her fingers touching the cold metal and like a snap, her body shook and her brain began to flood itself with images. Her hands quickly covered her ears crying out, too much. It was too much! Rolling onto her back, her body arching up to the ceiling, she cried out again. Her voice growing louder, shrieking from a normal yell to almost an alarm siren. She didn't even notice the windows cracking and braking, the television exploding in glass and flames, the lamps around her shattering, spilling to the carpet floor. She didn't notice anything but the images. She saw him, the man with the freckled face when she was falling. He was fighting with another, a taller man with longer hair. She could see them, fighting strange creatures, monsters. Demons with black eyes, she could see it all. Endless fast food, road trips, she watched from the outside as these two men, two brothers drove around to one town after another, protecting, helping, saving.

Slowly the memories stopped flooding her leaving her panting on the floor, broken glass and wires lying all around. Lowering her hands from her head, she looked back to the necklace she had dropped, reaching out to pick it back up, holding it limply above her head.

With narrowed eyes, pieces began to connect. "I'm…" She began. "I'm… an angel." The charm did nothing but sway before her in the air. She didn't know how she knew, but she could feel it, feel her body slowly change and pressure on her back. Tilting her head, her voice ripped out in a weak laugh when she noticed her wings, lying limp and exhausted upon the carpet floor like her. With a twitch of her shoulder she could move them a little, enough to let her feel again, to shake the broken glass from their white feathers. She was remembering… But it wasn't enough. She still didn't know her own name let alone why she was here. Lowering her hands to her chest, she clutched the necklace tightly, letting her eyes close to the silence of the room, listening to the wind that entered from the broken windows. She needed to find her answer; she needed to find the man with the sad blue eyes and the women with long blond hair. She needed to understand what happened to her and why she couldn't remember anything.

She needed to find and protect the man with the short cut hair. She needed…. She needed…

"…Dean…"


	2. Chapter 2

Slowly she began to gatherer herself. Her fingers brushing the bits of glass and wires from her black dress. Looking out the newly broken window; her eyes met other pairs of shocked gazers whom were walking by. At that moment, no thoughts ran threw her mind, just silence. What could she think? Nothing was making sense… Looking down, her right hand rose a little, fingers uncurling to let her eyes settle of the golden charm once again. "Dean..." She whispered lightly. Raising the charm, her lips touched the cold metal, her eyes closing to the flashes of, what she now believers are her lost memories. She saw his smiling face, his shouts of outrage and unshed tears of frustration. She could see him as clearly as day, as thou she was right there beside him at that moment, gazing into those hard hazel eyes. Counting each freckle upon that nose of his and touching those tight lips that pressed whenever he was upset.

Her heart was racing when her eyes opened and this confused her. Her free hand touched her cheek, feeling the warmth and coming to feel her breath was suddenly deep and empty, as thou she could not fill her lungs. What has come over her? The mere sight of this man made her feel as thou she was weightless, wanted nothing more than to shy away, want him to smile upon her and feel the joy of knowing she placed it there. "How strange.." She muttered. Removing the hand from her face, she looked back to the necklace, untying the straps so she could wrap it back up loosely around her own neck. She didn't know anything but one thing was for sure, she must protect this man in her dreams. She must find him.

Her eyes looked to the sky as a crowed began to circle, sirens ringing in the background of cops rushing towards them. Someone was yelling at her, waving their arms in dismay at the sight of the hotel room but she paid them no mind, she simply stared at the cloud covered sky. She could not feel him, not even a small tingle. Narrowing her eyes, she pushed harder, her sense's flying wild. Track him down, find his scent. Earthly rumble, gunpowder, burnt motor oil and musk of man; with a strong hint of sweat and blood. For a reason not known, those scents had filled her from those memories and they made her tremble, made her suddenly feel weak at the knees. They were sweet, bitter but so warm. Yet as hard as she searched, she could not track him. How could this be?

Lowering her gaze, she turned her head to stare at the screaming man, watching his face turn red in rage. "I must find him." She simply told him, figuring he was wondering why she looked lost. With a flap of her wings, she was gone from his sight, sailing across the sky. The warm air brushed around her and she couldn't help closing her eyes to it, she remembered this. The feeling of flying free, sailing across the skies open and free, slipping away from everything down below and higher above, no one could control her like this.

Dean was a hard man to find, she did not know what the next step she should take when quietly, she began to hear whispers. With a frown, she stopped her flight, spreading her wings wide to keep her still so she could bringing her ear closer to the heavens to hear. People were talking, no wait, angels were talking.

She listened and tried to pull some of the sentences to make sense of it when someone's thought caught her attention. She leaned closer to hear what he was saying and his words sent a cold chill up her back. With wide eyes, her lips parted in a startled gasp. "No…" Her grace burned brightly within her chest sending a command threw her nerves, making her wings flash and disappeared, racing across the skies to her new destination.

"Don't touch him."

…...

Dean ran till his throat felt dry. His steps sending dirt and rocks flying behind him, his breath coming out in quick sharp gasps. Chancing a glance over his shoulder, he looked to see if anyone was following. Shit, he knows someone was following, that's why he's running! Rounding a corner, he rushed to the closet building, busting the old door open to an empty ware house. Dust and cob webs covering the floor and ceiling but he kept running, his hands digging into his coat.

Where the fuck was his knife? He didn't have enough time for this shit! Beads of sweat fell from his brow as he yelled out a victory cry as his fingers gripped the handle of his angel blade. Once out, he looked up and before him, a man in a black suit stood.

"Shit."

The man's arm struck out, slapping into Dean's chest; sending him flying across the room. The blade rattled on the ground between then, the hit causing him to let go to brace for landing. Dean curled in a little on himself, one hand holding the bruised ribs while the other pushed against the ground, shoving him back up. He needed to be quick; those feathered bastards had a neck for speed. To his feet, he gave the man a smirk before waving his hand in a mock gesture. "Bring it." The man didn't even more, just simply stood watching with those cold dark eyes. A sound of flapping wings and Dean let out a groan of irritation. Seriously? There were two? Spinning around, swinging his arm wide, he tried to smack the other team member but that sneaky little bastard knelt down and shoved his fist right into Dean's stomach, knocking the air from his lungs and sending him back to the middle of the room, collapsing on the floor in a coughing fit. He was getting sloppy.

Forcing himself to sit up, he stared back and forth between the two attackers, one hand holding his throbbing stomach. Why did Sam have to have another break down, right now of all times? Dean could really use his help; these bastards were getting the upper hand on him which did NOT sit well.

"Dean Winchester." The brown hair angel stated bluntly behind him making Dean roll his head to look back. "It seems you have refused to see reason in accepting your lord and savior into your heart."

"Eh what can I say? I'm picky about these things."

"I noticed." The blond angel muttered in annoyance. Moving closer, he lifted up his own blade to point it down at him, and staring greedily at Dean's throat. "We were given strict orders to take care of you by any means necessary. By…any…means." An ugly smirk grew across that man's face it made Dean's muscles stiffen. Not good.

"Sounds like the big man is worried about me. Word to the wise, you should all be." The threat did nothing but make them laugh. "You should be the one worried. Once we have your soul Dean, we're going to take great pleasure in breaking its will." With a thrust down, Dean glared and reached up, trying to catch the blade on his arm with enough force to knock it away.

His arm met air when the blade went flying from the angel's hand. Everything went so fast Dean didn't have time to react. The blond turned towards the unseen attack and before he could utter a word, his body was stuck with another and was sent roughly to the ground. Dean scooted away quickly watching in shock as the blond man struggled, trying to fight back a figure in black. Scuffle feet behind him made Dean turn. Shit he forgot about the other dude. Quick to dodge to the blade, Dean scrambled to his feet for better balance and ground. A flash of light made both of them turn away as a scream ripped into the dust covered air. The dark hair angel turned with bewildered eyes, staring down at his partner. Limp and dead on the floor, surrounded by a burning hiss of black gashes that imprinted his wings upon the floor.

"You.."

The figure stood up slowly and Dean was able to finally see who it was that attacked. His jaw dropped a little. It was a women! Slump forward, she panted down at the fallen angel, her right hand holding onto her blade tightly. "Stay.. Away from him." She warned.

"How DARE you kill your own!" The angel screamed in outrage. Lightning flashed angrily outside catching Dean off guard, making him step away from this feud. What the hell was going on? The women turned completely around, letting those eyes, those crystal blue eyes that made Dean's breath still gaze upon the other angel. They were so pure, like crystal. The dark hair angel began to talk but his words were cut short when the women suddenly disappeared, reappearing behind him to shoving the blade deep into his spine, twisting the handle to catch his grace.

A startled gasp was all the angel could get out before he fell, burning his wings to the floor. Everything became silent then, leaving just the two of them alone. Dean began to back away, his eyes wide in shock. He could not believe this woman just ran in and saved him… right? Did she mean to kill them just so she in turn, could do the pleasure? Holding his bruise ribs, he began to itch slowly near his fallen blade, needing to protect himself just in case if things turned ugly. Like a hawk, he watched her stand, staring down at the fallen two in silence before turning, letting her eyes settle upon him. He stopped moving then, the blade just within arm's reach. They stared at one another, her face blank and unsure while his stayed rough and hard, keeping watch, waiting for any sign of attack. What he was given instead left him dumb struck.

She suddenly was smiling at him. She looked upon him so happily it creeped right the hell out.

"Dean…" A step followed by another and He was able to see his savior completely within the moonlight that shined brightly outside the windows. A woman with dark rich hair almost as black as night brushed along her tan skin of her face and shoulders. Dressed in a simple black sundress, she approached him gracefully, almost like she was floating on air. She was easy on the eyes, he had to admit that but being pretty didn't stop him from stepping away. Her eyes were blue, very bright and very dreamy. She looked upon as thou he had saved her instead.

"What do you want with me?"

"I am so glad you are safe." She answered instead, her fingers lacing together before her chest in a prayer. "I've reached you in time." Another step and she pressed into his personal space, those eyes searching, reading his shocked features. Who was this chick and why did she help him? At this point, he figured all the angels were out for his and Sam's head. Her fingers unlaced and her left hand reached out, those small slender fingers hovering over his bruised cheek. "I have saved you Dean."

Her voice was soft and sweet, spoken almost breathlessly. He turned his head away when her fingers graced his ruined skin, causing her to retract that offending hand. "I see that."

"Will you thank me?" His green eyes widen in disbelief, she could not be serious. "Uh…Thanks?" Her eyes shined happily as her fingers pressed together, tucking them neatly under her chin in a shy manner. "You are truly welcome."

Silence once again surrounded them. This was odd and Dean has NO idea how to take this. Something felt off and he didn't like the way she looked at him, little glances under her eye laces trailing over him, taking in everything. He never felt so exposed even when he was wearing clothes like this, not by some random stranger who popped out of nowhere. "Why did you help me?" He broke the silence, he couldn't handle it anymore. He needed to get to his blade, he didn't know what this chick was up too and he wasn't planning on sticking around much longer to find out. "I had too." Dropping her arms to her side, she began to walk to his right. He edged away but kept his eyes on her, turning with her movement. "Why?" Her brows narrowed in her thought as she struggled to answer. "I…don't know."

He scoffed at that, "You don't know?"

"Correct.." She confirmed while her eyes began to search the place she appeared in. "How did you find me then?" Her right hand reached up and touched a black leather strap that looped around her neck, the end dipping into the top of her dress making it hard for him to see the charm but pleasant enough to stare. She had a pretty nice rack. "I heard them. They were thinking about how to torture your soul… I came as fast as I could but it appears, I was not fast enough." Sadness tented her voice when she looked back, those eyes settling on his cheek moving down to his ribs. This was getting weird. "So… What are you? Hunter? You gonna make me repay you for saving my life or make me help you in a stupid ploy? Just to tell you now, it's not happening." Her eyes widen in dismay at his words, quickly she rushed towards him, her hands snatching his arms. "No! Do not think the worse of me; I am an angel of the heavens!"

"Whoa!" Dean snatched her forearms pushing her at arm's length. "Calm down, I was just asking. Fine, you're an angel. Now can you tell me WHY you just kill those guys and save me?"

Her pinkish plump bottom lip trembled a little up to him, her face twisted into dismay and confusion. "They were going to kill you. I had to stop them. I had too… When I woke this morning, your name was in my head… Your face was all I could remember. I had to find you, I had to protect you. You're my answer."

"What do you mean answer? What are you talking about?"

"You are the only one who can tell me who I am…"


	3. Chapter 3

Dean glanced over to his new passenger as he drove down the highway; the rusted old beer can of a truck rattled its engine at him in a threat if it wasn't taken care of soon 'again' the engine would fall out. God how he missed his baby, his impala. Busted and damaged from the last attack, sitting back at bobby's wanting for her man to return to make things right. _'Soon.'_ He thought.

But till then, he was sitting with his guard up with his passenger. Earlier he was at a standoff with his new arrival. From their small conversation, he learned three things. One was that she was an angel; two she had no memory of where she came from or who she was and third; she wouldn't leave him… AT ALL. When she told him he was the only person that could help her remember, he flat out said, 'Look, I don't know what you're talking about and I sure as hell don't know who you are.' He was sick of angels, every single one of them. After Castiel, he couldn't bring himself to trust, to care for those feathered bastards anymore. He tried to get by her but she kept reaching for him, her fingers snatching his arm and when he hissed a cursed from his ribs she let out a whine of dismay.

"You are hurt." She stated in a panic, ducking under his arm. She pressed closer, her cheek upon his chest, her fingers pressing into those bruised ribs softly to feel them out. Dean jerked a little, trying to get some space between them but she refused to let up, she kept touching him, pressing like a damn cat. That's when he felt it, something warm touched his skin, it sank right threw his graphic t-shirt to his ribs that suddenly snapped. He hissed in pain, it was like someone reached in and grabbed his nerves and squeezed yet as soon as it started, it faded to a throbbing before finally just disappearing all together. Tilting his head down, he watched her lift her head and stare up into his eyes, a shy worried smile upon her pink lips. "Better?"

She had healed him, felt out all his bruises inside and out then took it away. He nodded to her question and she smiled happily, resting her cheek back upon his chest, hands still lightly pressing on his chest. "I'm glad." He didn't know what to make of this. He had never really been in this kind of scenario so he just stood there, stiff and silent. His awkwardness went unnoticed by her since she just pressed closer, her eyes closed to the sound of his heart beat.

Finally, the man from her dreams was real, alive and in the flesh before her. She could hear his heart beat, so strong and steady. He smelt just like the necklace, bits of grass and grease. It was so manly and overwhelming she felt her knees start to grow weak. She didn't want to remove herself from him; she wanted to stay just like this, pressed against him for the rest of the days.

"So… what should I call you?"

Dean broke the silence, he couldn't handle this anymore. Her closeness was making him uncomfortable and the shitty thing was; it wasn't in the bad way! His hands curled into a fist to stop himself from touching her, to feel how warm she really was, how round her hips were under that dress of hers. He wanted to pull her up a little more so he could bury his face into her hair, to smell the lingering scent of something dear, something old that he had once before. He couldn't place his finger on it but he liked it, it left him almost feverish and itchy for his shirt to come off. To let her hands touch his bare chest. Yet he shook himself from those thoughts and forced himself to break this. He needed to get out of there.

With another tilt of her head, pressing her chin lightly to his collar bone she stared at him without a care, her arms slowly sliding along his side making him shiver as they wrapped lightly around his back. "I don't know… Name me?" His brows shot up in shock before letting out a sigh, giving up the fight to let his arms rest on her arms, feeling the smooth flesh. Damn, that was nice. "Fine.. For the time being; I'll call you… Jaz."

"Jaz?" She question and he gave a goofy grin, his shoulder hunching up in a shrug. "I got a jazz kind of feel around you. Besides, you don't feel like a rocker chick so Roxanna is out. If anything I could call you Jasmine." Biting her lower lip, she gave out a giggle. "Jaz." She whispered. "I like it."

"Cool, now you have to let me go."

Took a couple of tugs but when they finally were separated, he began to walk back outside, needing to get to his truck. He had to call Bobby and check up on Sam. Opening the door, he jerked a little when he spotted her outside already before him, smiling in wait. Looking over his shoulder, he stared at the empty room besides the two limp. "Can't you people just walk?"

So there they were on the road; he started his drive back to home base with his new… whatever she was. He asked her if she was going to leave to do 'angel stuff' and she shook her head, following after him. He told her she should run along and try to figure out her past or something but she was stubborn, refusing to leave him alone. Kept muttering, 'Must protect you…' before letting out a sad tone of a whisper that tugged his heart that he quickly ignored.

"Are you displeased with me?"

"I don't KNOW you."

"You are a smart man Dean, I have seen it. You can tell by one's eyes if you like them or not."

"No… Not anymore."

Rubbing his forehead, he sighed. When they got to his truck, she stared at it in amazement before her foot gave the front wheel a soft kick. Thinking it was going to jump out and attack her. Were there that many angels who were THAT clueless or was this a side effect of her lost memories? A creek made him look to the hood only to let out a shout of, 'Get off that!' when he spotted Jaz crawling along the hood of the truck, poking the glass windshield with puzzled fingers. "Dean, I can see into this things belly!" Waving his hands, he pulled her off the hood, his grip making her squeal out. "Jesus. It's a truck! Angels can't be this dense!" The tone of his voice and sharp edges of his words made her flinch away from him, her face covered in worry. "… I upset you.."

"No, you're irritating me!"

"My apologies…"

With another rub of his forehead, he watched her stare at the ground, unsure if she should look to him or if that would upset him even more. She was like a scared puppy, wanting to run to its master but fearing it would be kicked away if they got to close. It was heart breaking and annoying all at once. Turning on his heel, he yanked the truck door open, "You're going to keep following me aren't you?"

Her head shot up at his question before giving a nod, quick to rush after him. Shutting the door, he watched her approached his open window, her fingers gentle touching the edge without grazing him. "Yes." Looking away, he bent his head back against the head rest before flicking his wrist, signaling her in. "Then get in. Might as well use the company; It's a six hour drive back." She grinned and before she moved his hand snatched her wrist, stopping her. Her blue eyes were wide as they stared and he couldn't help but be drawn in. They were so clear he could literally see himself; it was like he was staring into the ocean, wanting to reach down and feel the cold surface but not wanting to break the prefect stillness. With a blink, he gave a tug on her wrist, "First things first. I need that sword of yours."

"What for?"

"…lets just say it's for life insurance."

…

One hour down, five more to go. With his rock music blaring, he watched from the corner of his eye as she moved her head a little to the beats, her eyes staring aimlessly out her window. Everything seemed to amaze her. "I can understand why your kind choose to travel is such a way… the beauty of this earth is breath taking."

He raised a brow at that. Looking out himself all he saw was empty streaks of land with barely alive trees. "Breath taking wouldn't be the word I use to describe this." She chuckled, her hands folded neatly into her lap. "That is because you are merely looking with your mortal eyes… If you saw this place through mine, then you would be struck with awe." He scoffed at the very idea and just went back to listening to the music. What was Bobby going to say when Dean bought home another angel? God… Did Sam wake up yet? He wanted to call to check up but didn't want to do it in front of Jaz. He didn't trust her; this could still be all a trap, a set up or something. Popping his lips in boredom, he broke and began to talk. Might as well right?

"So, you can't remember anything?"

"Nothing."

"Yet you knew my face and name."

"Yes."

"How?"

"I'm…not sure. I think they were memories.."

"But you said you didn't remember."

"I-I don't… But I saw 'something'… and it was you."

"Okay." He mused about this for a second. "So you woke up, thought of me and ran to see me… okay. Great… That gives us nothing."

"Perhaps this means something?" Taking the necklace by hand, she tugged the charm from below her blouse, holding it up a little for him to see. The golden glint made Dean's heart stop and slam on the breaks. Her body went forward with a squeal but his arm shot out to catch her before her head impacted the dashboard. Stupid angel forgot to put on her seatbelt. Holding her arm, he yanked her across the seat, one hand snatching the necklace, holding it up closer, the straps rubbing her neck tightly in his grip. "Where did you get this?" He demanded.

"D-Dean this is uncomfortable. If you allow me to take it off, you can lo-"

"WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?"

She went silent at his bark, her body going stiff. Dean held the charm tightly in his fist. That was his necklace, HIS. The same necklace Sam gave to him when they were young, the one he wore every day threw out his teen years and the very one Castiel took to find god… The last time he saw it; he had tossed it into a trash can in utter disappointment at his brother and forgotten all about it.

But now, it was here, right in front of him, winking its cold light in his eyes. "This is mine."

"I know.." She whispered. Reaching up, she untied the strap from her neck, letting it fall loose to his hand. "When I opened my eyes… This was the first thing I saw. I believe I saw its memories, everything you experienced with this on, I saw the second I touched it… I wasn't going to keep it Dean, I swear it. I just needed to have it close to find you." He was still processing what she said, feeling the hard charm in his palm when he felt her shift in her seat. Suddenly he realized how tight he was holding her, quickly he let her arm go, letting his free hand take the straps of the necklace and lift it up. So many memories, good and bad tied into one little trinket. "It's important to you." She stated and that made him flinch. With a growl, he tossed it into her lap, shifting the truck back into gear muttering, wanting to put the miles behind them and get back to Bobby's as quickly as he could.

"It was…"

….

Shutting the car door, Dean let out a relief sigh. Finally, back to the closet home he had. Parted outside of his friends, Bobby Singers, house. Dean raised his arms in a stretch; a six hour drive really took it out on his back and legs. Another sound of a car door and his stalker Jaz stepped out, her eyes searching along the landscape. He watched her as she walked down the dirt path to the house, her head tilting in wonder. "This place…" Reaching her hand out, her fingers brushed along the wood pillar holding up the roof to the door. "It feels… familiar."

"Of course it does." Dean muttered. Walking past her, he called out his friends name as he opened the front door, making his way inside. He expected Jaz to follow but when he glanced over his shoulder, she stood before the door way frowning.

"You coming?"

She rose her hands up and reached but her hands didn't pass over the threshold. "I cannot." Lowering her arms, she looked to him startled and confused. "There is something stopping me."

"Yeah, it's called a seal."

Dean turned around at the voice to see his friend Bobby standing across the room, his face tight with annoyance and rage.

"To keep you bastards out."


	4. Chapter 4

…..

Jaz stood outside the door confused, her fingers tracing along the invisible wall that refused to let her join Dean's side. When she pushed, something tingled in her fingertips and soon the tingle became a burn that she had to jerk back, shaking her hands in a sad attempt to sooth the hurt. Bobby crossed his arms in outrage at Dean, staring at him like he had lost his mind. Bringing home an ANGEL? At a time like this? Dean could only sigh and rub the back of his neck, fuck.

"Care to explain 'that' Dean?" Bobby requested, nodding his head to Jaz whom gave a friendly wave, as thou Bobby's behavior was nothing. "Uh…Yeah. Let's go to the kitchen and I'll tell you all about it." Bobby gave another glare to the girl before turning around, entering his kitchen with Dean close behind. Dean had stopped for a moment at the door way when he heard a yelp, glancing over his shoulder to see her try to push through again, her hand rubbing her stinging shoulder. Her slightly tan skin was red, like a burn mark. "Jaz!" He called out. "Just stay right there. I'll be right back." She gave him a pout before nodding, letting her eyes wonder back around the porch. "I shall stand guard then."

"Okay. You do that." With an eye roll, Dean entered the kitchen, taking the cold beer Bobby had left on the table for him. "Start talkin." Bobby demanded, sitting himself down comfortably. Dean took a swing of the bottle, wiping his mouth with his free hand, "Man.." He sighed, "Where do I start?"

…..

Jaz walked along the porch quietly, her eyes trailing along every inch of this home. This upset her, the fact she could not get inside. The strange older man said there was a seal blocking her and she rattled her brain to figure out what he meant. She hated this; not knowing made her feel helpless. Only little facts and instinct seem to be the only guide. When she appeared in the building and saw Dean laying there, hearing the need of blood from the angels' blade. Her body kicked into autopilot and she attacked. When she was done, she was beside herself in amazement and dread. How could she fight like this? How did she know what to do? How could she kill… The only reason echoing in her head was Dean. She needed to keep him safe, there was something about him. Something that lured her closer, making her want to reach out and grab him into her arms, to remove the stress and the pain he suffered with.

Walking down the steps back to the dirt ground, she began to wonder. Might as well see what was around if she was stuck outside. Perhaps if she noticed something familiar, a memory would come back. She had felt like she had been in this place before, this junk yard. The images were fuzzy and distance but she would not give up. Along her quiet walk, she turned a corner of old car parts to come across something that made her grace glow. Before her, in an open area laid an object covered in a white sheet. Grease and oil covering the fabric as the edges flapped helplessly in the gentle wind as thou to try to grab anyone's attention. Tools littered around it, parts and other objects she could not name. She moved closer, her ears picking up a sound that made her heart sink. Someone, no, something was crying. Crouching down slowly beside the large object, her thumb and forefinger pinched the corner of the sheet, lifting it up to peek. The sound was coming from the car, a small sobbing that echoed in her mind. The sheet revealed a twisted picture of the hood of a black impala. Touching the head light, she felt the shot of red heat going up her arm. Her eyes flashed when she saw something, black clouds sweeping across the sky sending the car over, flipping it over onto its back, sending her beloved driver and his friend to the ground. Her metal body broken, twisted and cracked in an effort to protect her driver. This car, this Impala was sobbing in spirit. She was battered and beaten and laid in wait to be fixed by the man whom always took care of her. Dropping to her knees lightly, she pushed the covered over the grill, letting her trace along the scratched metal. She could see it, pictures. Dean in the driver's seat smiling, head tilting back in the air that rushed threw her window. There was even another man, younger but so much taller with floppy soft brown hair. She watched with a smile as he pouted and laughed. Their reactions to each other were outrageous but so amusing she couldn't keep her lips from parting in a gasp as she laughed out, bowing her head to let her cheek touch the wrinkled hood, His name. Sam! She could remember, the younger man's name was Sam, oh her adorable Sam. With his puppy dog eyes and worry expressions. Her book worm Sam. Opening her eyes, Jaz looked back to home in the distance. Where was he? She wanted to see him, to see how tall he was to her now, to demand he pick her up so she could touch his hair and feel how really soft it was.

Oh, the memories, they were coming back. She watched them all with glee, even the sad and terrible ones. She watched them all flash in her mind, all of them in the car. The Impala's memories. "My boys." She whispered, her fingers trailing along the bumper. "You're taken such good care of them."

"Who are you."

A new voice zapped her from her connection making her turn on her rump, facing the new comer. A man stood across from her, the sunlight casting him in a shadow making her flinch away. Pushing herself to stand, her arm raising the block the light, she tried to see who spoke. "Whose there?"

The man side stepped and let her eyes see him fully and her jaw dropped a little. She knew those eyes.

It was the man from her dreams! The man with sad blue eyes! He stood before her, his face serious and tight, his jaw was set like his teeth were clenching in outrage. His tan trench coat moving gently in the wind even thou his tie lay limp on his chest. "Why are you here?" He demanded, "I placed down that no angel will help the Winchesters, not when they won't obey me." She couldn't speak; his presents send a jolt threw her. She could feel it, his power, sending waves of heat and fear into her nerves. His voice was deep and rough but yet it soothed her.

Castiel felt an emotion he hasn't had for some time. It felt like someone took his chest and squeezed it. When he heard Dean was on his quest to stop him, Cas was not surprised. He expected this to happen and was ready to let the others deal with it. In the back of his mind, he knew Dean would be safe. He was a hard man to keep down and when push came to shove, Dean always stood on top. Castiel knew Dean didn't match him in power, assuring him that his plan for a new world and new Heaven would go without a hitch. Yet, when news got to his ears that the two angels he sent to take care of the problem, to hear they almost killed him, he felt the flutter of pain and sorrow. He didn't want Dean dead, no… He wanted Dean to believe in him, to stand by his side like Castiel did in return. Grief took over him at that moment, Why? Why could Dean not see this as the only way? Why was he being so stubborn?

But the news turned, the report was given that Dean had survived but the small spark of joy that settled in Castiel chest was quickly crushed when he was told, the angels were killed by one of their own. One of his children dared to test him and help Dean? Outraged, he demanded to know where they were. Dean's bones were craved with his special markers still making it impossible for Castiel to track him down. He could not find Dean but that women, he felt her grace. It was small and sweet but the second he tracked it, he zapped to her.

For the past half hour he watched her with Dean. Watched how Dean would send over small sly glances while she was focus on other things. He didn't like it, none of it. He was going to appear before them and snatch her away, to get her away from Dean. She had touched him, he could sense it, smell it. His scent was all over her, just like Anna. But Dean has disappeared inside of Bobby's home leaving them outside and he took his chance. He would find out who this woman was and get her away from Dean. He would kill her if he must; no one was to help the brothers. No one but himself. Castiel swore Dean will come back to him and ask for forgiveness but until then, no other angel may contact them.

"Your face… It's different."

He tilted his head a little at her words. She approached him, her hand reaching out to touch, to graze his cheek, to touch the small piece of skin that started to turn red but she was pushed back. With a pulse of his power, her body went flying, crashing into Dean's beloved impala, cracking the windshield a little more. "Answer me. Who are you?"

She rolled over onto her side, her dark hair flopping before her pain covered eyes. Pushing to her knees, she panted out. "J-Jaz.."

"Lair.' Another pulse and her body went into a spasm, her ribs cracked and blood spilled out from her mouth when she let out a weak cry of pain. "Who are you?" He demanded again.

"J-Jaz!" She answered again, her hand covering her mouth as she cough, spilling more of the red liquid to the ground. Castiel raised his hand and squeezed his fingers, snatching her body in a tight grip making her squeal out. He began to lift her up from the ground, watching her feet kick, her wings flapping helplessly to get away.

"You're lying."

"I-I'm not!" She coughed, the thick red liquid spilling down her chin. Her body was trapped, rope she could not see were pinning her arms to her side, making it impossible to protect herself from him. "I know the name of every angel in heaven. New and old, there is NO JAZ!" With his other hand, his power ripped out from him, there so much, it was mind bending and it felt so good to him. With a slow ugly smile, his fingers pinched and pulled the air causing her eyes to widen and a silent scream leave her lips. Her right wing was being tugged, the bones stretching, threatening to break. She shook her head at the pain; he was ripping them from her shoulder blade. "Tell me the truth. Why are you with Dean?" He tugged the air more and she sobbed out openly, her tears falling down her red cheeks. Her feathers were being plucked out from his pinches, sending violent burst of cuts along her spine. "I-I don't know, please stop!"

Castiel narrowed his eyes and snarled. "Fine my child. If you will not tell me, then I shall see for myself." Like a whip her body was shot down to the ground, forcing her onto her knees. He kept his threads of power on her wings, tugging them every now and then to remind her he had her. Grabbing her hair tightly with his free hand, he tilted her head back roughly, making her face him, making hertear filled blue eyes stare into his own, let him see into her mind and read what she refuse to tell him.

He saw nothing.

"What is the meaning of this?" He muttered out loud. He pushed more causing her to whimper out. She felt him in her mind, digging, poking, searching and it made her feel so exposed and raw. The more he searched, the more questions began to fill his head. There was nothing, it was true what she was saying. It was like her mind was wiped clean, only basic functions and knowledge was stored and was still piling on but nothing else. Pulling himself out, he watched her slump to her side, her binds letting her go to lay limp on the dirt. Her tears fell still, her body shivering in pain from her wings. She tried to move but he was on her, pinning her down with his body. She sobbed out, her arms pulled over her head, pinned down by one of his. Straddling her waist, he watched her fear filled eyes, a smirk touching his lips. She should be scared of him. He was her father now; he would place that fact in her head.

"It looks like I will have to dig a little deeper… don't move. One wrong slip and your grace will be broken."

Yellow light glowed from his fingertips as they hovered above her chest and with a slow downward thrust, they passed through and reached. A shot of white hot pain ripped in her being, her back arched up, her head thrown back. Her air was stuck in her throat, her body shocked still. It hurt, it hurt so badly. Her body burned like it was on fire, his fingers were tearing every muscle, every bone in its way. She couldn't even get herself to scream out. "There you are." Castiel smiled, he felt it, the small ball of light. He pushed deeper down; feeling her shiver but his fingers struck something soild, blocking him from his goal. He frowned at this, tracing the wall that seemed to b surrounding her grace. He had never seen anything like this. "Nothing will keep me back." He growled. He was God now. He can do anything with his power and right now, he wanted her grace. With a flash of yellow light from his eyes, his fingers pressed and he felt the wall break, feeling it start to crumble

As the wall began to come down, something shot into his fingertips, shoving them away. His body jerked back when a red band of light wrapped around his arm, pulling his fingers from her body. He searched quickly to see the band was coming from Jaz, from her stiff fingertips. How could she fight him? He shoved his arm back in, pulling at the bands, trying to reach the wall and when his forefinger traced, her head shot up like a snap causing him to look up to her. Her blue eyes went green and her voice echoed to his ears.

"Don't touch it."

A flash of white light exploded from her body, such power knocked him back, ripping his arm from her chest. Grunting when he hit the ground, he looked up to see her sitting up, her arms reaching out in front of her, smearing the blood that fell from her lips to the ground. "How did you-"

"You will not have him."

Her voice whispered to his ear causing a chill to shoot down his spine. He knew that voice. With wide eyes, he watched her look back to him, those green eyes glaring with such outrage. "You…"

Her wing shot out wide, feathers falling around them but she gave him no time to think. Her hand slapped the ground, hitting the Angel Banishing Sigil she had drawn causing his body to be ripped away. He yelled out as he disappeared in a bright ball of light, leaving her alone once again.

Everything began to settle slowly, silence greeting her, the wind brushing once again, pushing at her dark hair to swirl around her shoulders. With a slow deep breath, she fell backward, her body finally giving up. Everything was starting to go black but she swore, she felt something hard and warm wrap around her and a voice shouting her name. She couldn't bring herself to utter a sound; she hurt too much and felt so weak that she simply sighed out and greeted the blackness of unconsciousness.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean watched his friend take in everything he had just spoken. Bobby's eyes were a little wide and his lips were slightly parted. "So.." He began, "You went and got yourself another stalker… Great. That's exactly what we need." Pushing up from the table, Bobby began to pace the kitchen, wrapping his mind around the problem. "Bluntly? Yeah. She refuses to leave me alone. Damn, why the hell do I always get stuck with these guys?"

"It's like you have a damn bulls eye on ya boy."

"I know right?" Dean shook his head in dread, drowning the rest of his beer. He had no time for this crap; he had way to much on his plate. He was struggling already trying to keep a straight face, trying to be the big brother to everyone who looked at him. They could do this; they could get Castiel back and stop everything. He had to believe, he had to hope… He chuckled sadly when a familiar voice whispered into his ear, making his heart twist in grief.

_'Have Faith…'_

"What are we going to do with the chick?"

Rolling his fingers through his short hair, Dean slumped back a little. "Keep her outside? She really can't do anything if we keep the symbols up right?"

"True.. but for how long. We just can't hide out in here and if she's as stubborn as everyone else we've run into. She'll try to find a way to get in." Dean rolled his head back in a sigh, so much for that plan. When silence was all that was left, Dean finally cleared his throat and asked the question that lingered on his brain.

"… How's Sam?"

Bobby looked up and stared at him with strong eyes that hid nothing. With a shake of his head, Bobby lowered his drink onto the counter top. "Not better but not worse. He's still knocked out."

"Nothing?"

"I got a few twists and movement but for the most part, he's been dead to the world. He's still breathing so that's something."

Dean clenched his jaw at the news. What was he expecting really? Coming home to find his brother wide awake and back to normal? Giving him those damn puppy dog eyes as he asked what they should do now? Of course Sam would still be out of it. Dean closed his eyes a little in remembrance. When he got out from Hell himself, he remembered every little detail. Those images's, memory's flashing in front of his eyes. The smell, the sounds he made and even worse, his victims. He wanted to take a drill and push it into his own temple and drain those memories out, get rid of them once and for all but he stopped himself and just pushed on. It was hard and to this day, he still struggled but he couldn't change things. He couldn't go back and he wouldn't forget. All he could do and just accept it and deal.

A sudden scream jerked them both from their spots, yanking them to turn to the living room. "What the hell was that?" Dean jumped up and ran, Bobby close behind. Ripping the blinds open, Dean looked out to the yard, scanning. He saw no sight of his newly found stalker but he heard another scream. "Shit its Jaz." Feet scrapping across the floor, Dean busted out the front door and ran. He cried out her name, his eyes searching. Who had her? Why didn't he keep an eye on her? What didn't he get Bobby to rub the seal off and get her inside! Rounding a corner towards his impala, a bright light exploded causing him to cast his arm up to protect his eyes. What the hell was that?

When the light faded and his eyes focused enough to let him see his surroundings, what he saw made his heart stopped for a split second. His baby girl, his Impala was cracked even more across the windshield, but it was who was in front of it that made his breath still. Jaz was kneeling, her back to him with her hair trailing along her still back. He took a step as her body fell backward making him cry out her name. He rushed and caught her before her head could touch the ground. Sitting flat on the ground, his arms wrapped around her body; she just turned into him, brushing her cheek lightly into his chest,

"Jaz, hey look at me. What happened?" He cupped her cheek, lifting her head so he could see her face but seeing all the blood on her chin, smeared along her cheek. He couldn't help the sudden deep breaths, his shaking hands brushing her dark bangs from her forehead. "Shit, shit shit Jaz! Come on, you need to open your eyes. Talk to me, come on!" He shook her, watching those eye lids flutter a little, her lashes lifting up to let him see the whites of her eyes before they closed again, her head rolling back. "No damn it!" He was starting to freak out, heaving her up a little more onto his shoulder, one hand cradling the back of her head into his throat, to keep her still as he tried to lift and carry her back to Bobby's house. His free hand felt something wet and it made him pause in his movements. Reaching back up her spine, he felt along her dress until he found the wet fabric. His lips twisted in a grimace. She was hurt, bad. Pulling her closer to his chest, brushing her hair from her back, he looked down to see how bad the wound was and he let out a cruse at the sight. There were small cuts along her shoulder blades, thin and clean but they were bleeding, trailing along her skin to the ground where a pool was forming.

"This is bad." With a grunt, he shoved his arm under her legs and under her back and heaved. "Bobby!" Turning towards the house, he booked towards it. "Get that crap off the windows and get the first aid kit NOW!"

…

_'Little bird, little bird fly threw my window…'_

Jaz twitched a little on the ground, a buzzing whispering into her ear making her mutter out, waving her hand weakly at her ear. She didn't want to wake; she was too sore to move.

_'Little bird, little bird fly threw my window.'_

The ground was so cold. She frowned at this before her body began to notices a change. Lifting the darkness from her eyes, she looked up from the white ground and let her eyes settle of the snow that was everywhere around her. Her brows pulled together in confusion. "Wha?"

_'Little bird, little bird fly threw my window, find the-…'_

Pushing her heavy body to sit up, groaning at her aching bones. She looked to see where that singing voice was coming from; it was so soft, so sweet she yearned for more. Crawling, her fingers sinking into the wet snow, she moved towards a large piece of dead wood, its brittle branches rising up into the clear sky. Touching the bark, she lifted herself up to peer over, to see the other side.

"No way…"

_"I'm gonna do whatever I- whatever I must…"_

Jaz pushed herself to stand on her weak legs, her eyes wide at the scene. It was her dream; she was back in the empty woods of snow! Just across from her it was the man with the sad blue eyes. The angel whom she had just met moments ago, the one who tried to touch her grace and tore her wings as thou they were paper. He sat with his back to her this time, his head bowed in his pain and sorrow. Why was she back here? What was going on?

Moving herself over the log, she wanted to approach this sad man. She wanted to know what was going on, why was he struggling so much? A gentle gust of wind and fluttering wings, another body appeared out of thin air leaving Jaz to stand and watch. She remembered her, the first time she was here. She remembered seeing a woman with long blond hair when she was being pulled away. She tilted one way to another to get a glimpse of the strangers face but the stranger kept it hidden. Sitting beside the sad blue eyes, She reached and touched his arm.

_"Castiel."_ She whispered and a shiver went down Jaz's spine. So beautiful, her voice was relief to her aching bones, leaving her to sigh out deeper and fall to her knees, muscles melting into a relax state. She took in every detail she could get from this stranger. Her hair was long, down to her waist and was so blond; in the light of the snow it looked almost white. Her body was hugged tightly in a thick long coat of brown, tan puff fur lining the outside of her collar and cuffs of her sleeve. Castiel lifted his head to look to her, his face broken and unsure. The women simply lifted her hand and touched his cheek, brushing away a flake of snow she spotted. _"I did not expect to see you."_

_"My apologize… I just need to think." _

She shook her head to him, letting her arms fall back to her lap, looking back out to the beautiful scene before them. Jaz wanted to lift herself back up and join them, to see her face, to be apart of their moment but her body refused to move, it was still and oozing with bliss to her voice, refusing to break the spell. _"Do not apologize."_ She requested, _"I made this place for you."_

_"For…me?"_

The womens shoulders gave a little roll, "_Well… Not truly FOR you, but a place where those LIKE you may rest and think as you are doing now." _Castiel didn't respond but simply stare at her, his lips thin in thought. _"… I don't know what to do."_ She tilted her head down, her hair spilling over her shoulder to brush before her face. "_Castiel… Do you truly believe what you are doing now, this task you have placed on your own shoulders? Do you believe that this is the only way?"_ His lips pulled in a grim frown as he looked away, his face covered in sorrow and pain once again. Like no matter what he did, it was always wrong.

_"Yes…"_

_"Then it seems to me. That you do know what to do."_

He shook his head at her words, his fingers clenching his knees lightly. _"You don't understand. There are risk's I could…." _He cut himself off to look away, his shoulder hunching up to his ears. _"It's the only way to save them…From everything they fought to keep back."_

"_You mean the brothers?"_

He did not answer but the only simply sighed, tilting her head up to the sky. _"What… do you fear the most of this? That they will hate you?"_

"_They will be saved, as long as they are alive they can hate me."_

"_Will this kill you?"_

_ "I would gladly lay down my own life if it meant the world could be spared."_

_ "Then what has you doubting yourself?"_

He sighed at that, _"I… Was told the risk's… This vessel might not be able to contain that much power and there is a strong possibility it will explode and take a good portion of world with it."_

_"But?"_

"_I am strong enough to hold onto it long enough to get rid of Raphael."_

"_Then what do you fear?"_

_"…. It will Ch-"_

_JAZ! JAZ WAKE UP!_

Jaz blinked at the sudden voice that muffled into her ear. She shook her head, casting her eyes around. No, she missed what Castiel had said. Pulling her body from its relaxing state, she began to crawl towards the two. What did Castiel fear?

_" I see."_ Reaching over, the women took Castiel hand, removing it from his knee. _"I have something for you."_ She tugged him to join her, standing up fully within the snow. "_I know how we can put your mind at ease."_

_Jaz! Come on, open your eyes._

She waved her hands at her ears, trying to hush the voice. Castiel and the blond women were talking and she couldn't hear half the things they were saying. Suddenly the scene was becoming dark, the light was fading. "No!" She was waking up. She rushed forward, trying to reach the two before she was swept away. She wanted to know, she needed to know. "Castiel!"

"_Castiel..."_ The women whispered, her fingers reaching up, brushing his bangs back from his forehead. "_Have faith in me. I know what I'm doing."_

_JAZ!_

Like a snap, her body was shot back, sending her away from the two. She screamed when her body began to pulse with sore pain, her back setting flame. Her wings flapped and cracked with bitter sorrow, they were damaged, and she swore they felt as thou they were just hanging onto her back by bone alone. Into the darkness her body fell, her voice ripping out in a scream.

….

Her eyes shot wide as a deep breath entered her lungs. Her body sat up quickly only to be shoved back down. Pain exploded when she touched the mattress making her cry out, her body twisting away from the hold, trying to relieve the pressure. Those hands let her go quickly and help her roll onto her stomach. Panting out, she reached out, her hand searching, seeking until they felt a familiar chest. With a weak laugh, they curled into the shirt, holding tight. "D-Dean?"

"Yeah, yeah it's me. Relax." Taking her hand into his own, removing it from his shirt. He patted her palm lightly, searching her pain covered face. "You're safe now. I got you."

"Dean… I-"

"Hush." He muttered, reaching for a wash cloth to wipe away the sweat from her brow. "Talk later, just nod kay? Now can you heal yourself?" He watched her frown at him a little before giving a shake of her head, pressing her cheek into the mattress, "Weak..." Yet, with a painful hiss, she reached back out, taking his wrist, holding onto him tightly. "Alright I'll just bandage you up and we'll just wait it out wont we?"

"Protect…" She whispered, her eyes closing once again.

"I know I know…" He sighed softly, taking her hand into his own, letting his thumb graze her knuckles. "How about I protect you this time hm?"


	6. Chapter 6

Rustling sheets whispered into the dark room, greeting the moonlight that beamed softly threw a single window. With a slow awareness, Jaz began to wake letting her eyes settle on the white sheet that was her pillow. Confusion clouded her blue eyes, how did she end up in this bed? Closing her eyes, she tried to remember. She was outside by the impala wondering around and searching when suddenly someone showed up. Her eyes snapped wide then, her hands shoving her body to sit up. The man with the sad blue eyes! The covers rolled off her body but she stared blankly at the wall before her, her lips parted in shock. He had attacked her for some reason. She felt so much pain and knew no way to get out. That's when it went all blank again. Sliding to the edge of the bed, letting her bare feet touch the carpet, glancing over her shoulder to her back. She remembered her wings being pulled and torn, her feathers littering the ground.

There were bandages lining her back, white cotton pads with tape keeping them in place with her skin. She frowned at that, the tape made her itch and the cotton showed small red spots already with blood. How bad was she? How were her wings? Gripping her shoulder tightly, she clenched her teeth and pushed at her grace, letting her wings flutter out into thin air, blossoming from her back. Pulling them around her, she expected them and it broke her heart. She touched the bare skin where some of her feathers were lost, seeing the bruises that had formed. It would take time to heal and she believed it would be a while before she could fly long distances but it was alright for now. They were still intact and moving, her bones hurt at the base where it suffered the most damage but if she let it rest and let her grace work its magic over it. She would be fine by the end of the week. With one last stroke of her feathers, making her own body shiver from the feeling, she let them fade from her sight, slipping back inside of her.

With a deep sigh, she let her body relax only to hear another sound that she did not make. Looking to the other side of her bed, her eyes widen at the image. How did she not notice him earlier? Dean sat crossed arms across from her, leaning heavenly upon his chair, his head tilted down in an exhausted sleep. To her feet, she walked around to him, trying to be as silent as possible. What was he doing? He looked so uncomfortable. His lips were in a frown that proved his discomfort. His sleeves of his shirt were rolled to his elbows, showing stains of water marks on them. Wrinkles of worry were still on his brown, creasing to his nose. His breath was deep and slow, trying to find any sense of relaxation or rest. Her eyes glanced around and her heart fluttered with warmth at the sight. A white box holding fabrics that were on her back laid beside him, a small bowl of water with a used wash cloth dipped in. He had taken care of her in her time of need, eased her wounds and cleaned them. She was touched by this, a wave of utter love washed over her that her fingers itched to touch him. To stink into his hair and pull him towards her, bury herself into his sweet strong scent and never leave his side.

But nay, she refused to do it. He deserved his rest and who was she to interrupt it? With a gentle smile, her fingers touched the lining of his jeans at his ankle and in a split second of mortal time, he was lifted and laid upon the unoccupied bed. Dean let out a soft sigh when his back met the mattress, sinking deeper into the pillow that plumped up his head. He was so bone weary he didn't even stir from the movement just sank deeper into his sleep. Jaz bit her lower lip when her back pulsed, sending a new sensation, wetness leaking into the bandages. Her power was there but her body was still weak to use it. A simple lifting a mortal caused her healed wounds to reopen a little, pulsing out a new wave of discomfort but she paid it no mind. Dean needed her and she would risk breaking a limb to make sure he got what he needed.

Kneeling to the floor, she watched him from the side of the bed. Her eyes half lid in affection. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful. Touching the edge of the mattress, she bent forward, her right hand hovering over his head, her fingers itching, burning to touch his face. To trace his relax brow and his soft lips. She wanted to trace the edge of his nose and stubborn jaw that seemed to never let go. Pulling her hand back away, she cradled her own head instead, leaning heavy upon the mattress. He was a hunter, a simple touch would stir him and that would rip him from the sleep he so desperately needed.

Was it strange thou? She was happy watching him like this, to see his sleeping face silent and calm. To count every rise and fall of his chest and every moment his fingers made if it were to grab the covers, to itch his arm, to roll himself to his side, bringing him closer to her. Her heart pounded in her chest like a drum, uncoiling herself to slip up along the edge to be closer to him. One touch, her mouth begged her. One gentle graze of lips, the need was so strong, so determined. Why did she feel this way for this man? Why was he on her mind, in her heart? Why did she want to protect him, make him happy, make him want her and call her? Why did she want him to accept her and parse her? A gentle touch of the cheek, a hug, a kiss or just something that showed he cared for her, that he was proud of her. Show he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

Tilted her head to lay alongside his own, staring at his lips, her face feeling flushed and hot. She wanted him to wake and see her, to smile and pull her closer. She wanted to be in his arms, to hear him whisper her name into her skin as he touched her, removing the clothing that seemed to be squeezing her so painfully now. She wanted… Oh how she wanted.

A soft thump broke her train of thought. Pushing herself back up fully, turning around to the room. She searched, trying to locate the reason for that noise. It was soft and barely there but her ears burned. Another thump and her lips frowned. What was that? Glancing back to the bed, watching Dean let out another sigh, digging his arm under the pillow to bring it closer to his body, her heart pleaded her to return to his side but she ignored it. She needed to find the source of the noise. Pushing herself to her feet, she tipped toe from the room, slipping out the open door to the hallway. From there she searched, following the faint noises. She found herself in a large study and her eyes caught another being slumped over in sleep. She gave a small smile at Bobby; the old man was cradling his head in his arms over his desk with a bottle of half drunk beer just within his reach and books littered around him in disarray. Glancing around, she spotted a random blanket lying rumpled on the couch and an idea struck her. Taking the cloth, she moved carefully to his side and slipped it over him, hearing him grumble out a word that made her chuckle. Why was he calling her an Indian? She would have to ask him later about that but with a gentle brush to his temple, removing his hat. Placing it down, she couldn't help but gaze fondly at him. Bobby was wise in his years but with old age, his reflexes have slowed down.

He did not stir when she touched him and she only felt the need to hug him more, to tend to him. He did so much for the boys; she saw that threw the necklace. He needed someone to take care of him once and a while. Someone he could lean on when everyone else leaned on him. Brushing some of his thin hair back behind his ear, she left him there to sleep, continuing her seek for the noise.

It took her to the basement. Walking down the old creaking stairs, the noise got louder. Someone was down here, she could feel it. Touching the stone floor, she searched in the darkness until she spotted a metal door behind her, hidden almost by the stairs. She walked towards it, seeing symbols marked along the surface in paint. She touched it, feeling the familiar burning in her fingers tips making her pull them away. Another thump and she looked up, seeing a peep hole. Quickly she grabbed a tool box and place it before the door, letting her step upon it to look threw, to see what was making the noise inside.

"…..Sam?"

It was another room, holding books and supplies but along the walls more symbols were craved. There was so many, for so many different things. She touched the door again but it burned her making her hiss and pull away again. In the middle of the room, upon a cot laid Sam, it was there that his right foot kicked out, striking the small table beside him causing the thumping. His face twisted in pain, his breath short and labored. His hair was sticking to his forehead in sweat, his fingers curling, crawling at his sheet. He was in pain, something was happening. She called out his name but he only shook his head in a grunt, his back arching up in what looked to be in a jolt of pain before he went limp, falling back into the fearful stillness.

She had to get in; she had to get to Sam! She tried to look, she could not get inside, the symbols kept her out, and her power was still limited so she could not grab him. There had to be a way, she needed to reach. Tears peeked in her eyes when she fell, sitting on her rump in defeat. There was no way in. Her back bled a little when she tried to use her grace to push through, her hands trembled at the burns, blisters slowly forming. They locked Sam away from her, from her touch. They were keeping him safe but for what? From whom? Covering her face in utter sorrow, letting her tears fall freely. Her Sam, he was in pain and suffering. She wanted him to smile, wanted him to look upon her with his puppy dog eyes and lop sided smile when he found something amusing. She wanted him back.

What could she do? What….

In the silence, a voice whispered into her ear, making her shiver and look up. "Who's there?" She called out. There was no one, she could not sense another form, evil or good in the room, could not see another form moving in the shadows. The voice whispered to her again, asking her to do one thing over and over. Her brows came together in confusion to the request. What good would that do to her? But the voice simply told her to do it, to have 'faith'. With nothing else to turn too, she leaned back slowly to the boxes behind her, letting her head fall forward. "Alright.." She whispered. Closing her eyes, she listened to her heart beat and let her body relax. Slow deep breaths, her hands tingling a little before they fell open in her lap, her body slipping back a little more, her head tilting to the side, her cheek pressing into her shoulder. She let her body fall back into the darkness of sleep, letting her mind wonder and seek out.

_'Sleep… Follow me.'_

Her eyes opened and she found herself to be in a different room. A frown touched her lips as she pushed herself to stand. It was a corridor, curling round on itself. Door upon door laid before her, the red lights flicking. Where was she? A scream of pain caught her attention and her feet felt themselves move. Down the hall she moved following the sounds of rattling chains and grunts of pain. It wasn't soon before she found the door, the clouded glass covered in red blood, spilling slowly down the surface. That twisted her heart but the scream behind the door made her shove it open. A gasp came from her lips before her voice carried out in a scream of her own. "Sam!"

In the room, Sam was being tortured. His limps pierced by metal hooks, pulling his flesh, pulling his muscles from his bone. His head shook from the pain, tears falling from his clouded eyes. He begged for it to stop but the chains only pulled, ripping chucks away, leaving him to bleed out onto the floor. Bile rose in her throat, her hand quick to cover her mouth to keep it down. A deep chuckle came out from the corner of the room and there she saw another man. Blond hair and pale skin, evil dancing in his eyes, blood smeared all over his body, dripping from his fingertips. She watched in horror as he stepped towards her Sam, reaching out, digging his fingers into Sam's stomach, touching his internal organs causing blood to spill out from the young man's mouth.

'I love it when you beg.' The man hissed into Sam's hear making him cough out, 'Come on Sammy. You can do better than that.' With another twist, he ripped something out causing Sam's eyes to snap wide and his body to go limp on the chains. The man chuckled darkly, deeply, his tongue licking at his fingers like a kitten to a dish of milk. He watched Sam lay there limp before snapping his fingers, making the young man whole again. His skin lay untouched and clean on any blood, his eyes flashed back with life and his body trembled from the cold. The blond man smiled, turning his back to Sam to reach for something, his voice singing out hauntingly. "What shall we do next hm?"

"Sam!"

The younger man turned his head slowly; looking at her and her heart soared with hope. He could see her. The blond man kept humming to himself, his thumb flicking across a blade. Jaz waved her hands, begging in her eyes for him to come to her. "Quickly, you must hurry."

"Not so fast there missy." Her body was stuck with something hard, shoving her against the suddenly wet wall of the hallway. She gasped out when invisible fingers grabbed her throat, cutting out the air supply. The blond hair man suddenly appeared before her, his ugly smile spreading on his lips. "Well, well , well. What do we have here?" She twisted in his grasp but he tsked at her, flicking his fingers to let her feel another pulse of pain, sending her nerves screaming. "Are you trying to take my toys without asking? That's very mean; didn't your mother teach you better?" She cried out weakly when her bones were pressed, feeling them slowly being crush. Who was this man and why was he hurting Sam? "L-Let me go."

"I don't like sharing my toys." He said instead, his eyes narrowing. "Not even with you."

An iron spike suddenly appeared out from his chest, spilling his blood to the floor. They both looked at it with wide eyes before glancing back. Sam stood behind him panting, his face twisted in pain but determination burned in those eyes. The blond man let out a irritated sigh, taking the spike, slowly pulling it from himself. "Sammy." He cooed, watching the younger man stumble back, grasping the door frame tightly. "I thought you learned by now…nothing can hurt me here."

"Why don't I try then?"

The blond man turned in time to see Jaz lung forward, a sliver blade in hand. He yelled out but it was too late, the angel blade sliced into his chest where the iron was, twisting it with such force the man gasped. With a shout, he sank to his knees and vanished, leaving her blade to rattle on the ground. Did it kill him? She did not know but she paid it no attention. Quickly she rushed towards Sam, grabbing his arms. He struggled with her but she pulled, forcing him to follow her down the hall. "Sam you need to wake up, we need to get out of here!"

"No…escape.." Sam panted but she held on. "There is always an escape." Sam stumbled again and fell to his knees and Jaz was force to fall with him. Looking back to him, Sam covered his face with his free hand sobbing, his body burned with so much pain, and so much sorrow. He didn't want to go back; he didn't want to relive it. He wanted it gone, all gone.

On impulse, Jaz reached and wrapped her arms around his shoulder and pulled him close, burying her face into his hair. He stiffens in her grip and her fingers stroking his back tenderly, touching the bare skin that showed threw his ripped clothing. "Dean's waiting for you." She whispered. Those words made Sam look up slowly, looking to her with worry. His brother was waiting for him? "D-Dean?"

She smiled down at him warmly, those blue eyes drawing him in, taking in the sudden ease and numbness that washed over his nerves. "He is waiting for you… We need to get you out."

He muttered his brother's name again and she hold him closer. Closing her eyes, she prayed, wanting him to wake, wanting him to be within the real world, not this place. Not here.

When her eyes opened, panic grabbed her when she spotted her arms empty. Quickly she turned, knocking over a box of books to the floor. She was back in the basement, back in Bobby's home. What had just happened? Rubbing her forehead a little, she breathed out 'Sam' as her hands quickly pulled herself to stand. Jumping back onto the tool box she peered inside, just to see if he was still there, and if he was awake, away from that evil place. Inside of the room, Sam laid on his side, his arm limp over the edge, his palm touching the floor limply. Her heart squeezed painfully, he wasn't moving, he wasn't making a sound. Tears began to build in her eyes, was she too late? Did that blond man return? "Sam…"

He let out a grunt then, his head pushing up along his pillow. Her eyes widen in awe before calling out his name again, this time louder. Sam's face pinched in annoyance before rolling onto his back, his limp hand coming up to wipe at his ear, his voice muttering something indecent. She hoped then, her fingers curling into the bars of the peep hole. This was a good thing right?

It had to be…


	7. Chapter 7

Bobby stirred awake. His dreams were bleak and dim, messed into a haze of nothingness. Opening his eyes, he looked to find himself still at his desk. "Damn…" His back was going to kill him for a good few hours. Raising a hand, he reached to pull off his hat to find it gone, his finger meeting nothing but his forehead. Pushing to sit up, popping his spine as he did, he felt something fall down along his back. A blanket was resting behind him, bundled at his hip. He frowned at that, he didn't remember putting that on.

As his senses started to wake, his nose tingled with a smell he hasn't found in his home in years. Raising a brow, he took a deep breath, letting a shiver go up his spine. Bacon, the mouth watering smell of beef was whiffing along the lazy morning air. Grabbing his hat, he slipped it back on as he stood, making his way to the connection doors that laid closed to the kitchen. Was Dean cooking? This early? He reached to the door and a sound stopped him, his heart giving a painful squeeze. Someone was humming, a soft gentle tune.

Flash backs hit him, memories swimming in his brain that he suddenly felt rooted to the ground. He couldn't move, a part out of fear of what was behind this door but more so of seer stupid hope. God, how many more times was he going to go through this? How many more times is he going to walk by the kitchen and try to not picture her, smiling so sweetly at him as she cooked. His beautiful Karen, so full of life, of patience for him…

With a sneer on his lip, mostly aimed at himself. He took the door by the handles and threw them open, refusing to let his heart feel that one ping of hope, that jolt of love he once had. Looking in, his jaw dropped when he spotted the person behind the noise and smell. Jaz turned to him, her hair pulled up into a messy bun that locks of her hair were falling out. In her hands, she held a plate of fresh baked bacon, steam dancing up into the air. She beamed a smile to him, "Good morning Bobby." Turning to the side, she placed the plate onto a decorated table that left him speechless. White plates littered every spot, filled with food he knew for a FACT was not in his kitchen. Pancakes, waffles, bacon and ham, sides of oatmeal, cinnamon rolls and eggs, both scrambled and fried. Hands on her hips, Jaz looked at the table pleased, turning her eyes back to the older man.

"I believe this is what you call 'breakfast.' Does it please you?"

He worked his jaw a little in shock as his steps took him closer to the table. It all looked so good, smelled so mouth watering. He wanted to plank himself down, grab a plate and fill it to the roof. He looked to her, watching her wait for him to answer, her blue eyes swimming unsurely to the gesture. "… No O.J?" was all he could utter. He flinched at the line for Jaz's smile broke and her hands covered her lips in mere confusion. Before Bobby could brush it off as a joke, the sound of wings brushed his ears leaving him alone in the kitchen. "Shit." He muttered, his hands covering his face. "Dumbass move there Bobby."

"Holy shit, what's the occasion?"

Bobby turned, his shocked expression still on his face to see Dean standing in the door way, itching his empty stomach. Bobby lifted his arms in an unknown shrug. "I dunno… Jaz just… made it."

"This is Jaz's doing?" Walking towards the table, he raised a brow at it. He wondered where that chick ran off too. When he woke up, he found himself in the bed she was in earlier and his first reaction was to get out. He jumped out of bed and looked around, how the hell was he moved without being awoken? His feet knocking something on the floor letting him see Jaz's slippers he had taken off during the night. He put two and two together and he cursed out, that women. A sinking feeling filled his heart with dread. Was she up to something? Did he make a mistake getting Bobby to remove the symbols and let her in? He made his way downstairs and the smell of bacon and pancakes made his mouth suddenly water. With wide eyes, he rushed down the stairs like a child, wanting to see if his nose was telling the truth and behold. It was.

A part of him questions the food but his stomach demanded he sat down and eat, enjoy the hot home cooked meal for ONCE and just shut up but he couldn't. "Where is she now?"

"I think I might have upset you."

"You what?"

Bobby took off his hat, rubbing his forehead frowning. "It just took me by surprise! I kinda just blurted it out."

Dean rubbed his hands over face, groaning out his name. It was way too early for this shit. "Great, we have an upset angel. I swear if she's like Cast-"

"Is this what you mean by O.J?"

Both guys jumped and turned around, staring at angel in question. She stood there smiling, a bottle in her hands. Quickly in her bare feet, she rushed towards Bobby, holding the carton up to his eyes. Bobby glanced to Dean who shook his head in confusion before looking back, taken the object from her. "Ugh…yeah. You got it."

She grinned then, her hands clapping together, "Wonderful! I want this to be perfect for you. Now, sit. Eat and fill your body and soul with the necessities you need for the day."

"Woah woah WOAH, you made 'this' for Bobby? How the hell did you make this?"

"What? Just cause I'm not young anymore or killing demons on a daily bases like you, I don't deserve a good meal?" Bobby shot back, sitting down in the chair offered to him. Jaz chuckled at Dean as she placed an empty glass before Bobby to fill with the new bottle of O.J. Filling a plate of everything she could reach for him, she answered Deans next question; "Well, I could not make this, the objects in this place are unfamiliar to me so I went to a nearby place where they had all of these lined up and just took it."

Dean's eyes widen as he sat down himself, watching in shock as she filled another plate, settling it before him. "You.. took it?"

"Why yes." She explained, not seeing the wrong in her manner. "You needed food, it was right there. Is this not the whole moral of eating?" Dean let out a sigh and rubbed his face again, not wanting to deal with explain every wrong thing in this subject. But, on the other hands, it was food. He began to eat as Bobby took a sip from his drink, looking up to her to see her simply stand there at the end of the table, watching them happily. "Um.. You going to join us?"

"I do not need to eat." She explains, going back to her stance.

"Humor me." Bobby request, waving to the empty chair that was tucked neatly at the edge of the small table. She stared at it for a moment before finally settling herself down, staring at her hands unsure where to put then till she just placed them in her lap. "So… you going to enlighten me to why you 'cooked' breakfast?"

Jaz tilted her head a little causing the loose locks to brush along her shoulders. "Well, you have taken care of the boys for so long and done so much with little thanks and appraisement and you never complained about it." Dean let out a snort but quickly silenced it when Bobby glared. "I just wanted to thank you for taken these boys under your wings and guiding them. Lord only knows what would have become of them if you were not there." Bobby smiled a little at that, his chest giving a little ease of warmth. "I like her." He told Dean who just rolled his eyes, shoving another fork full of eggs into his mouth. "So." Dean muffled as he chewed, waving his empty fork at her. "How about telling us what happened yesterday."

"What happened?"

Bobby cut a piece of his waffle, dipping it into the syrup greedily. "Yeah, you gave us quite a fright there missy." Jaz's eyes widen a little before she gasped out. "Oh! Yes… Sorry. It seems I was attacked."

"We figured that much but what we mean is, who did it. Was it a demon?"

She shook her head to Dean who pressed his lips in thought. "Angel?" She looked away then, her shoulder hunching up a little. "Damn." Dean muttered, at least this was something. "Did you catch what he or she looked like?" She gave a slow nod and they both waited for her to explain but she kept silent. Bobby looked to Dean worried, suddenly feeling protective of the girl whose face twisted in guilt and confusion. Reaching out, Dean's fingers slipped under the table to take one of her own, giving her hand a squeeze. Her gaze shot to him worried and he gave her a reassuring smile. "Its okay." He spoke softly, "We're here to help you."

She looked down to his hand and a small smile touched her lips. It felt so warm on her skin. His hand was so big compared to her own. Taking her free hand, she laid it gently upon his, her fingers tracing the rough skin of his wrist. These hands, they have done so much. They fought, they worked, they built and they held everything together. His family, his problems, his cares and now, they held her with such tenderness she could not picture him to have and it touched her. Taking a slow breath, she began.

"It was a man… He was from my dreams."

"The one where you saw me?"

She nodded, "It was before that thou… I feel like I remembered him. He had such sad eyes." Her eyebrows narrowed, her fingers tracing along Deans own gently before whispering. "I think his name is…Castiel."

Dean's hand was gone like a snap and she felt empty and cold. She looked up to him and his face said nothing. His face was tight and clenched his eyes wide for a moment before narrowing. Had she upset him somehow? She reached out to touch his arm but he shoved himself out, his chair scrapping across the floor. Pushing to stand, he took a deep breath, turned and left without a word, walking out the back door to the yard. Jaz frowned, watching him leave before turning to Bobby who poked at his meal silently, his eyes cast down. "Have I said something wrong?" Bobby gave her a sad smile before shaking his head, "No, its just… Castiel and him, well... they were friends once." Her lips parted in awe before she turned back to the door, her fingers curling into the back of her chair in the need to rush after him. Yet Bobby's voice stopped her, his hand touching her forearm turning her back around. "Jaz." He began, her lips a frown. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, yes. Why?"

"Your back is bleeding…"

* * *

><p>Dean sat down on the hood of his broken Impala, his fingers squeezing into fists. He was so mad, so fucking pissed. Baring his teeth, he let out a shout before turning, kicking his leg out to slap into his car, causing it to rattle a little. Rolling his hands threw his hair; he let out an oath before letting them fall to his side. Castiel had come and kept his word. His friend, no wait, EX friend had gone to great lengths to kill a stranger just for protecting him and this, this fact upset Dean. They were suppose to be family! Castiel was the closest to a best friend Dean ever had and he went and did something stupid like this! Castiel had done a lot of fucked up things, A LOT but this, his brother, the god complex and now trying to kill Jaz, this has gone too far. He needed to do something, he needed to stop him!<p>

That realization made something inside of Dean sink into a cold numbness… "Who am I kidding." He muttered. Leaning back upon his Impala, he let out another deep sigh, his eyes casting up to the cloud filled sky. There was nothing he could do. No book, no webpage. No hunter or demon could tell him what to do. Castiel was gone, crazy with power and even thou Dean wanted nothing more than to have his friend back, to save him. Somewhere in Dean, he knew his friend was lost. No matter what he did, Cas was watching, waiting and just like yesterday, Cas would kill. That fact hurt more than Dean was willing to admit.

"You are upset."

Dean didn't bother to look, he knew that voice. "That's an understatement."

"Bobby said... you two were friends."

"Yeah. Were." Rubbing his face a little, he looked to notice she was wearing something different than before. Her black dress was gone and instead, she wore a soft purple sundress. It was old and out of date but it fit her personality. White collar lining her slim throat to the pearl buttons, the sleeves puffed out at her shoulders and forearm. A white belt hugged her waist while the hem flared out around her to her knees. "Nice outfit." Her cheeks went a little red before she gave a little twirl. "Bobby let me wear this. My other dress was 'ruined'." Dean frowned before he remembered. He had to cut her dress down her back to get to her wounds and tend to her. It still surprised him thou, of all the angels he ran into, she was the only one that had changed her outfit. All the others were dead set on wearing the same thing, even if it was ruin, they somehow magical fixed it.

"The dress seems kind of big." She gave a nod before smiling, "It is but Bobby was kind enough to let me wear this. It took a lot for him to pull it out of the closet. It means so much to him." Deans brain clicked and he let out a soft 'ahh'. Bobby let Jaz wear one of Karens clothes. That shocked him, one for the fact he still kept them after he was told Bobby threw them away and two cause Bobby willing let a stranger wear it. "Well… That was nice of him."

"It was." She agreed happily before moving closer to him, resting herself at his right side. "Dean, will you tell me about Castiel?"

"No. Its… No…" He turned his head away from her as she looked up to him. Her head tilting slowly, she held questions glowing in her eyes that only he could answer. "He is important to you." She stated making him look back. "When I saw him… He asked me why I was with you. He sounded… hurt." Jaz looked away, her fingers tucking themselves under her chin in thought. "I felt him, his grace, there wasn't much. It was clouded by others, some… were very dark, and it upset me. Thou strangely, I can feel his grace now. It's on you."

Dean let out a chuckle before taking his right sleeve, rolling it up to his shoulder. "I'm gonna take a wild guess and say its cause of this." Jaz looked upon the hand print with wide eyes and surprise. Her hand reached out a little, hovering over it, feeling the heat of his skin and the small tingle of grace that was still lingering. Dean smiled to himself a little, remember the first time he saw it. It burned like a match to his skin and he couldn't believe how it came to be. But now, he found himself every now and then touching it, gripping it tightly as thou Castiel was there. He thought once, if he squeezed hard enough, Castiel could feel it and come to him when he was in need.

"I gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

Dean jerked and turned to her quickly, his eyes wide. For a split second, he swore he heard Cas. She looked up to him with those blue eyes and god damn.. They looked so much like his. They looked upon with him warmth and uncanny and it held something else.. something deep that Cas refused to say. "What… Did you say?"

She tilted her head and Dean felt his muscle tighten, that's how Cas use to tilt his head, her face searching his confused to his request. "I said, he gripped you tight and raised you from perdition… right?" Her hand fell then, her right hand touching his scar and hot liquid busted inside of him suddenly. His skin burned and his muscles pulsed with a need, a need so strong he couldn't stop himself. Grabbing her shoulders, he rolled them, pinning her down onto the hood of his car. Her voice came out in a shocked squeal but he paid no mind to it, damn she looked at him with such trust and unsureness and he couldn't keep himself away. Bowing his head, his lips touched hers, feeling the sudden need to know what she tasted like. Her body stiffened under his but as suddenly as his attack on her, her own body reacted. Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck tightly and pulling him close, her lips parting easily, moving with his own in the same animal need. God, she tasted so good, tilting his head, he slipped his tongue deeper, brushing along her own shy one, wanting her to react with it. Soft little sounds were coming from her and Dean couldn't help but growl at them, his hands reaching down, gripping her hips to slide her down the hood, pushing his hips between her legs. Man, her body was so hot against his; he could feel it threw his clothes.

Pulling his lips away, he ducked and attacked her throat making her gasp out, her head tilting back, giving him more room, more access to bite, to kiss, to lick. Everything was going so fast and Jaz didn't mind, no she wanted it. Her hands reached down and clawed along his back, pulling at his shirt and Dean swore into her throat, his hips pushing down into her own making her jerk. Her body was on fire, pools of pleasure were swimming in her veins, she needed him, needed his skin upon her own. Need him to be inside of her, to join her. To claim her. Her hand reached back and touched his mark again and Dean's body shot up above her, his head tossed back as he let out a throaty cry, his body was going into over load, every time she touched him, touched his mark pleasure spilled, his jeans tighten and his member harden to the point it was painful. He wanted to lift her skirt, to pull down his jeans and take her, right there on his impala. He rutted against her shamelessly, wanting to loosen the tightness, wanting to slow himself down but he couldn't damn it. She was driving him crazy. She called out his name and he buried his fingers into her hair, pulling her up, burying his face into those locks. God, he wanted her, he wanted her just as badly as he wanted….

Suddenly he stopped. Her body wiggled against him, trying to coax him back into action but his stomach dropped. "No…" Quickly he let her go and pulled away, his body screaming in protest, his hips begging him to go back, to finish this. He looked at her and she sat up, her hair falling over her flushed face. Her eyes were large and dark with lust, her lips plumped and bruised. Her dress was wrinkled and raised, baring her legs, her thighs that rubbed together in a shy need to keep them close. She looked so hot, so innocent that sudden guilt washed over him. She offered herself to him and he would greedily take it but he couldn't bring himself to do it. No, it was weird. It was too much.

She reminded him to much… Too much of what he had done.

"Dean?" She whispered out, her hands reaching back out, wanting to touch him, to feel him back against her but he pulled away, stepping back. "God Jaz I… I'm sorry." Her bruised lips frowned to him, her free hand wiping at her bangs to let her clearly see. He couldn't look at her, shame suddenly began to build but she pushed it aside. No, there is nothing shameful about this. He wanted her just as she wanted him, she knew it. His kiss, his touch told her. Pushing to her feet, she reached for him again, "Dean, there is nothing to be sorry about."

"You don't understand." He muttered when her hand touched his cheek, turning his head towards her own yet he couldn't bring himself to look into those eyes so he closed his own. Memories kept running threw his head. Suddenly his brain yelled, how many more? How many more angels will Dean take for his own selfish need? Fist Anna then Castiel and now… Jaz. He hated himself, he was going to do the same thing, repeat his mistakes just like before. He was going to get Jaz to get to close, he was going to make him her world just like Cas and drive her to fall. He was going to burn her to the earth and she will be left hopeless and alone and soon she will hate him and leave him like Cas, and no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tired. He could never forgive himself if he let this happen again. No, he needed to get away. "I-I can't. I'm sorry." Ripping himself away, he quickly retreated, leaving her behind to stare.

With trembling fingers, she touched her lips, her lungs trying to get some of the air Dean had so roughly took away from her. She watched him leave and all she could think about was how right his body felt against her. His touch was rough and demanding and she gave in, wanted him to take from her, use her until he had his fill and then take even more. Over and over until she was crazy with pleasure, crazy from this sin that she could do nothing but beg for mercy and fall into the wicked feel of passion. Her hands began brushing her hair a little by her face; a helpless smile touching her lips, her cheeks growing red when a thought entered her mind.

Dean liked her, he truly did. Right? No one could kiss or touch another with that much passion and not like them. She bet he was upset that he could not lay with her for they were not married. "Oh… Dean." She whispered. That had to be it she giggling to herself. She began to rush back to the house, ready to ease his troubled mind. She would fling the door open, tell Dean she would happily commit to him for the rest of his life and let him take her unto his bed without the guilt of sin or the heavens above.

As she rounded a corner of metal and glass, she came to a sudden stop when something blocked her. With an 'oof!' she held herself up by grasping the shirt of the man she ran into, her head tilting up to him smiling, "Oh sorry! I did not…see…" Her eyes widen slowly when her eyes met the man's face. Castiel tilted his head to the side, his eyes studying as his hand began to rise. She jerked but it was too late, his fingers touched her forehead and her body went down. Castiel quickly placed his free arm out, catching her body before it stuck the ground, holding her up easily. With a shrug, he lifted her up a little, letting his free hand cup the back of her head, letting his eyes search her sleeping face. Boneless she laid in his arms as he looked up to the sky, searching quietly till his wings spread wide and with a blink of a mortal eye.

They were gone.


	8. Chapter 8

It sounded like drops of water were echoing around her. Jaz moved a little, her body feeling heavy and drained.

_'Follow me…'_

Her eyes flinched tightly shut before opening, her gaze meeting fields of green, moving slowly beside her. She frowned to it, her body to weak to sit up. She was laying down, body surrounded by grass and flowers, each one different then the next but so beautiful. They danced gently in the wind, moving like time was trying to pause itself.

_'Follow me…'_

She let out a weak groan, her arms struggling to lift but they remain limp at her sides. Where was she? With every ounce of energy she had, she moved her head to look to the other side, instead of flowers she found a pair of legs that made her frown. Her eyes trailed up them to come into view of another person. It was the blond angel from her dreams, her face was covered in shadows, blocked by her hair that kept blowing. She stood, her feet hovering just above the flower bed. Jaz tried to talk, tried to move but the women just lifted her arms, opening them to her. Her body was slender and wrapped in clothing that looked so odd. A high waist purple skirt hugged her flat stomach and hips, trailing all the way to her knees, a black long sleeve shrug trailing along her frame, brushing along her every now and then. 'Who…' Jaz whispered and she suddenly she could see her lips, so pale and pink. They gave a warm smile before moving, mouthing the words, _'Follow me…'_ Opening her arms wider, Jaz finally noticed where the dripping sound was coming from. She jolted in panic when she noticed, between the woman's chest, a handle of a blade laid, twisted deep and pinned. Red trails of blood were flowing free from the wound, staining her tank to her skirt. Blood smeared down along her legs to the ground where it dripped off, landing upon the green grass, turning the healthy blades brown, burning away to nothing.

Jaz tried to move again as the women began to fade. What was this? She didn't understand. She let out a broken sob, not wanting to be alone in a place she did not know. The fading women bent down low, her hands reaching out. They touched Jaz's face so tenderly; it made her feel safe. The wind moved her blond hair letting Jaz catch her eyes and she was stuck with awe. They were green, so green. Just like the fields of grass around her. Those tan fingertips trailed along Jaz's cheeks to her to her jaw, letting her whimper when they were removed. _'Awake… and follow me.' _

Her body faded completely leaving Jaz alone in the field. She felt tears falling from her eyes and she tried to stop it. Why was she crying? Closing her eyes tightly, she let out a broken sob, she felt lost and alone, she wanted the women to come back, to touch her again, to explain what was going on. Why was she hurt? Why was she here? A gentle breeze pushed a flower to touch the tip of her nose, stirring her from her own grief and pain to open her eyes and look, to see the empty ground where the blood had fallen slowly begin to move. The dirt split apart and a green stem emerge, gracefully it grew, its leafs opening up to the sunlight, the bud tilting back and opening, bearing the most beautiful red rose Jaz has ever seen.

Stuck in a trance, she watched the rose open up its silk petals to her, glistening with dew that she didn't noticed a pressure upon her forehead. The pressure began to seep and leave her feeling dizzy and limp. Closing her eyes, she tried to stop her body from spinning, yet a cooling wave went through her body making her gasp out to the sensation. Opening her eyes once again, she turned her head to look up to the blue sky, her lips parting in deep gasps. What just happened? Her body felt heavy still but she was able to move her limbs this time. For a moment she simply stared at the sky, more bewildered then confused. When her vision stopped being blurry and finally focused, a man's face suddenly came into her view. Her body jerked, pressing into the ground when Castiel came to stand above her. He watched her quietly, his head tilted in concentration.

He brought her here, to this place. She remembered running into him and feeling a sudden weight that knocked her out cold. What was he going to do with her?

"You are frightened." He stated his voice low and rough. She gave a short nod, her fingers curling into her sleeves. Suddenly her mind snapped, telling her something was very off. Taking her eyes from him, she looked down and sat up in shock. Gone was the purple dress Bobby had pain takenly handed over to her and in its place, laid another. A cotton cream dress with long lace sleeves, showing off little designs of vines and leafs. They were so wide that the material rippled over each other, covering her hands to the tips. The blouse was heart shape, wide collar baring her throat and the top of her chest. Her cheeks went red when she noticed how low it was, baring the swills of her breasts. The collar was of lace as well, curling inward like petals. White pearl buttons held the blouse tight around her ribcage and stomach to the end where it rippled out in a hem. So thick and so long she could not see her legs. There was so much fabric when she moved; she felt them try to drag her down. Watching the lining of the fabric to see her legs, she tried to push herself to stand, finding it difficult, which was until Castiel appeared, taking her hand gently, and helping her with ease to her feet.

"You should not be. I am powerful… but I would never harm my own mother."

Her lips parted in shock at his word, watching him let her go and stare at her pleased, his lips creasing up gently. "I have almost forgotten how you looked in that."

"What have you dressed me in?" She asked, her fingers grasping the lace hem, lifting it to see the cream fabric of her skirt, brushing all the way to the grass. She looked like a fairy princesses, all she needed were the wings and a wand! Castiel frowned at her, his eyes narrowing a little. "Your clothes… Mother, you must tell me what happened to you."

"I'm not your mother." She claimed lightly, looking to him in shock. How could she be, she had to be far younger than him, she had no memory of ever baring a child!... Then again, she had no memory at all. Something washed over Castiels face and for a second, Jaz felt guilty. His lips twisted in a small frown, his eyes showing a small ounce of hurt before it was quickly removed. "For a moment, I thought myself the same." He moved closer to her, her feet rooted to the ground, to scare to move from his gaze. They locked onto her own with such hot determination, such need her breath halted in her throat. "Something has happened… You have changed. Tell me so I may fix you."

"I'm not broken. I simply cannot remember."

"I know… While you slept, I tried to see what happened but your mind.." He raised his hand to let his cold fingers touch her cheek, causing her to flinch away from his touch. "There is nothing." Placing his rejected arm back to his side, he turned away from her, settling himself down upon the ground. She did not know what to do, what to say. It appeared he would not harm her… but her mind could not wrap around her being his mother.

Turning towards the wind, her hair whipping around her, she finally took in the scene and truly, it was breath taking. The stretch of land went on her miles and miles, nothing but green grass and blue skies. Flowers bloomed by a handful, making the hills colorful and beautiful. Every single flower was different, was unique. Pushing her hair a little behind her ear, she looked up to notice an old oak tree over head, shadowing them happily from the warm sunlight. It was healthy and glowed with such life that she felt her body ease into a longing peace that never settled. "What is this place?"

He didn't answer her right away but simply looked out, his fingers picking at the blades of grass. With nothing else to lose, she walked over and sat beside him, hugging her knees to her chest. She had questions and at the moment, he was the only person who could give them. Looking out, they sat in silence, enjoying the sunlight and scents. It smelled so wonderful there, with every inhale it was a different scent, a different flower. "… Am I truly your mother?"

His eyes closed a little and he gave a nod. She looked to his profile, watching him quietly before reaching over, her fingers touching his cheek to pull him to look at her. "I am ashamed of myself." She sighed making him frown. Her fingers traced along his jaw to his lip, tapping them lightly. "To forget my own child…" His eyes widen a little and suddenly, he answered. "Home… This is your home. One of them, you visited this one the most."

She nodded to him in understanding, her fingers reaching up to brush a piece of his unruly hair back from his forehead, such tenderness, Castiel's body almost forgotten what it was like. He leaned into the touch, wanting to take more, to finally feel….

"I have destroyed Raphael." He blurted out making her back stiffen. "I have begun it. I am sculpting the perfect world, cleansing the wicked and evil that now praise in my name. I will be a better God then our father. I will show them all that I am better." His smile was empty, cold as he began to stand. "You don't have to worry anymore; you no longer have to hide." Opening his arms, he walked out into the open, baring himself to the wind, to the sky and to her when he turned back around. "You are safe as long as I am Lord." His arms lower and across his face, his flesh turned red and rotted. She gasped, her hands covering her mouth. He frowned at her before reaching up, feeling the sticky flesh under his eyes. A piece of skin peeled away when he removed his hand, making his stomach turn. Suddenly his body caved in making him grunt, bending forward to the ground. Something was crawling inside of him, clawing at his muscles and bones. Voices, voices were echoing, shouting out.

_'Mistake….Mistake! Let us out! Feed, LET US OUT!'_

The pain was over taking him until he heard the voices scream out and sink back away into his grace, leaving him winded and weak. When his eyes parted, he could see nothing but white and that alarmed him. It took a moment for him to notice that he was wrapped up in a pair of arms, tucked tightly under Jaz's chin. His eyes widen a little, feeling her fingers hold tight to his shoulder and hair, her face burying itself into his temple. "Mother?"

"What is happening to you?" She sobbed. Her tears trailed along her cheeks to her chin, dripping onto his shoulder. Shewatched him stand there, empty and smile till the pain took him. She saw something, something dark loom over him. A dark smoke swirled up over Castiel body, moving slowly, gracefully like a snake, its small red eyes staring at her. That thing, that monster was hurting him! Something inside of her snapped and she felt a sudden rush of energy. Throwing her right arm up, a burst of light shot out, causing the shadow to cry out and sink back into his body, letting him go to collapse to the ground. She stared at her shaking hand with fear, not understand what just happened but everything was pushed aside when she saw Castiel in pain. It was like a dam broke in her mind, images suddenly appeared, memories of a small child with dark hair that curled at the neck and forehead. Bright blue eyes filled with innocence, looking up to her with so many questions and eagerness to know them. She saw her own hands touch his face, brush back his hair, her arms wrap around his small body to lift him up to the sky, to watch his little wings flap against the wind. She was remembering.

Her son… With a shove, she rushed at him and grabbed him tight.

Holding him close to her, she wanted to take whatever was in him away, to save him. It was hurting him, it could kill him! Castiel began to lean into her, taking in her scent. It has been so long, so long since he had been held by her. Closing his eyes, he let his body soak it up, his selfish need to be filled. The last time he touched her, he was picked to join the group of angels to fight their way to hell and pull out the righteous man.

The first time he met his only human friend, Dean…

_"Its not what it seems." Dean uttered hurriedly._

_ "It seems like you bound me."_

His brow shot up at Dean's voice that suddenly echoed in his mind. Castiel lifted his head from her bosom to stare out into the distance, his lips a sneer. He looked, threw Dean's eyes to see a darken room and a man, thin and frail stand before him, arms up to show his binding. Death. "I must go.." Pulling himself from her arms, he rose up, his wings appearing suddenly onto his back.

"Castiel, what is going on?"

"Dean has betrayed me." He spat angrily, his eyes glowing with hurt. "Once, just once was all I asked of him mother. To put his faith in me and now…" His face twisted in pain that only someone whom was close could feel, to know someone you cared for, someone you risked your life, your faith, your everything for had just went and sought out a way to put you down. Jaz watched with horror as his wings became blacker, his feathers fanning out.

"He cares for you Castiel."

"Lies."

"He does! He only wants to save you... Let's go and talk to him, he shall explain-"

"You are not to leave here." His arm shot out, his palm touching her forehead causing a red light to shine. Her back felt a sudden grip, something was holding her. She pulled at her wings and no matter how much she pushed how much she tried, her wings were grounded into her body. "Castiel no!"

"He refuses to accept me… I must erase him." His wings spread wide and she cried out for him to stop but he flew off. Hiking up her skirts, she rushed after him, her voice ripping at the wind. She pleaded for him to stop, demanded he come back to her, to go with him to figure this out but he turned a deaf ear to her cries. In the gust of wind, he soars until he vanished from her sight. Her slippers tripped on their own account, sending her falling to her knees within the flowerbeds. She shook her head in dismay, her hands covering her face, to wipe at her tears, Dean was in trouble! She sobbed to herself, her body trembling in sorrow and fear. She was supposed to protect him, how can she when she is stuck here?

During her sobs, her shoulders shaking violently, she felt something brush along her hip. Sniffling, she looked down and noticed the flowers, they were leaning towards her, their petals trying to touch the hems of her dress. It was like they were trying to console her, to comfort… She was oddly touched by this strange reaction that it caused her to reach down to touch a lily, brushing the soft petal. "What do I do?" she asked them. The flowers all suddenly lifted up to the sky in a hush, sending their petals into the air. Swirling together they danced around her, blinding her with the colors and speed but soon they began to fall, leaving her in a circle of nothing but grass and bare stems.

She watched with utter curiosity, not knowing what would happen next. A rustle of movement and a lone stem began to rise up. She watched silently as it struggled, trying to unbend itself to a straight posture, letting the bud begin to grow once again and slip out a single color flower.

A blood red rose.

Her eyes widen at the sight, watching the petals bloom open, just like in her dream. Reaching out, she plucked the rose from the ground, bringing it closer to her. _'Follow me..'_ it seemed to whisper and when she looked up, just a little ways out, she saw another rose rise up above another flower bed, Barings it red petals to her eyes. To her feet she stood, letting her eyes see the miracle that was, a trail of roses began to bloom, one spot to another. They were showing her a way, a trail.

Hiking up her skirts, she followed them down the hill, rushing to reach the end.


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel stirred from the floor, his mind fogged and blank. Opening his eyes slowly, he felt his body give a rush of sickness, his skin feeling sticky and wet. He felt as thou the world was off balance and his body could not find a flat surface. His arms waved a little to grab anything to keep his composer, letting his stinging eyes see.

His stomach dropped and his breath came quick and fast.

Around him bodies laid, lifeless and still. Pools of blood coated the floors, the wall and when he looked, himself. His hands dripped with it and his coat was stained and this made his lips part in a silent cry. He did this? He killed these people? He turned quickly, trying to find evidence, find something to prove him wrong, to say someone else did this and he was simply a standby. As he looked, voices, those voices dark and deep began to laugh to him, making tears fill his pain covered eyes.

_'More…..More….More…'_

Covering his ears, he let out a groan as his body began to get attacked again, feeling those monsters start to press, his stomach stretching at their hands. He did this. He did this. Tears leaked out and fell to the blood covered floor, his brain rattling. How? How did this come to pass? He was with the Winchester boys, his pride hurt and even worse, his heart. He felt an emotion that seemed to always come and attack him, a feeling that no matter how hard he tried, how hard he explained. Would slip into his body and make him feel as thou there was nothing left. That he was alone.

He felt the pain of rejection in the eyes of the only mortal man he could come to care about. He heard Dean bind Death; Castiel wanted to pop there and take Dean, to lock him away in the heavens so he could not interfere nor put himself in harm's way. He did not want to kill that man yet there he stood, his stubborn jaw and narrowed eyes. He looked at Castiel like he was a monster, that everything he had done, saving him, dying for him meant nothing to Dean now. Then… to hear that voice, that voice that whispered into Castiel ears when nights were lonely, that called for him for help, that husky soothing voice that he had come to love. Castiel felt his heart shatter when he heard it yell out,

'Kill him now!'

Betrayed.. Castiel had looked back to him one last time, his face shocked and expressionless. How… How could he? After everything they went through, after all the things he had given up? How could he utter those words with no second thought? He felt his wall he had built began to crumble away and the need to prove himself again… To prove he was a better God, he was GOING to make this world BETTER. The need for Dean to look at him and tell him he was proud, he was right and put his faith towards him… With a flap of his winds, he disappeared from the room after snapping away Death's bonds, he didn't care what Death would do. He couldn't stand to be in that room anymore, to be looked at by those hate filled green eyes.

_'MORE…MORE…MORE!'_

Castiel let out a grunt and soft cry at the voices, at the pressure building. They were trying to take over him again. 'N-No.' He begged lightly, when the voices let out a laugh, a dark evil laugh making black ooze seep from his nose, he shouted, 'NO!'

He needed to get control. He needed to get away. He needed…

He needed help…

* * *

><p>Along the field of flowers she walked, her eyes keeping track of every single red rose that lifted up into the air. They had her sweeping down a hill and leading into a sudden small shadow of trees, its branches wide and covered with mose and dead leafs' even thou they did not fall in the wind, just hung there lifelessly. Blocking the sunlight, the finale rose laid at the mouth of a path, letting her eyes see nothing but shadows and hear nothing but stillness. This is where it took her? Where it wanted her to go? Looking back over her shoulder, she glanced once more behind, seeing the flowers wave to her in the breeze, the light shining its warmth upon her frame as if to push her on. The women from her dreams told her to follow and deep inside, she knew she had too or she was doomed to stay here, lost in her own mind and confusion. Grabbing her skirts tightly, she began her walk down the path, watching the dry dirt break under her slippers.<p>

There was no life there, no birds, no grass, no bugs and no light. It chilled her bones and made her suddenly feel alone and frighten. Down the path she kept walking, her fingers pushing at dried branches that snapped in her grasp, years of aging leaving them brittle. The path came to a sudden end and before her, in a wide circle, laid nothing but darkness. Reaching her foot out, she tapped the floor, a sudden fear that the ground was truly not there and she would fall into a sunken cave. In the darkness, her foot found ground and she began to slip deeper in, her heart racing in fear. "Hello?" She called out, hearing her voice echo back. "Is someone there?"

She stopped moving after a couple of steps, not wanting to lose sight of the path in case she needed to run back. A crack of wood and she spun around, her eyes searching, "Are you there?" She called out, " I followed… Now tell me who you are." A rustle of movement made her spin back the other way, her hair flying. "Please!" She begged, "I need to get back to earth! Dean is in danger! My son…" Feeling a wave of regret, of lost, she fell to her knees to the hard ground, her hands covering her face.

"Help me…"

Something was touching her hand just then, letting her skin tingle with warmth. Lowering them from her face, she frowned to a small ball of light that floated before her. It did not look to be a fire fly but simply a ball of pure white light and it came closer to her face, touching her nose gently before jumping off, its body exploding into a huge burst so bright it caused Jaz to cover her face once again. When it became a dim glow and her eyes could handle the power, she looked back. There were thousands upon thousands of balls of light flying around her, pushing the darkness away. She was struck with awe and amazement before some began to fall to the ground, tracing a black outline that was dug into the ground.

There was something burnt under her.

Pushing to her feet, she began to step away, to see what it was she had to get to the very edge of the circle to let her eyes see the whole image and what laid made her fingers covered her mouth in alarm.

Wings.

Black jagged marks imprinted the ground, outlinging a set of wings, so big that it took almost all the balls of light to line up together, to let her see. She shook her head, her mind hissing at her, whispering. "Death…" She muttered to herself, her feet moving on their own to the base of the wings, where the person whom had fallen would have laid. "This.. This is death.. An angels death…" Falling to her knees, her fingers touched the center where the wings connected, finding herself filled with dread and sorrow. "Y-Your….death…"

The balls of light began to lift once again into the air, swirling together. As the light grew brighter, Jaz could only trace the black marks, feeling the roughness. In her shocked state she didn't notice at first the pair of feet that suddenly came to float before her. Lifting her head, she glanced up with wide eyes as the balls of light suddenly disappeared leaving only those two.

Jaz and the blond hair women from her dreams.

Even thou no wind blew, her whitish hair moved around her, blocking her face from Jaz's view. To her feet Jaz rose again, never taking her eyes away. She was right there, right in front of her.

"Who are you?"

The women lifted her arms, her hands cupping the middle of her chest as she spoke, her voice was just like her dreams, soothing and soft, like satin upon ones skin, caressing her nerves that Jaz found herself leaning forward towards her.

"I am the angel with no name."

"How can that be?"

Her arms moved away, falling back to her side, her head bowed down to let her long hair float around her more. "It has been so long… I have forgotten it."

"Show me your face." Jaw whispered, taking a step closer. The women lifted her head to Jaz once again, letting Jaz see one peering eye, an eye that held the brightest green color she had ever seen. "You have come, seeking answers."

"Yes."

"Take my hand." She whispered out, her right arm reaching out. "And all will be revealed."

"Show me your face."

The women tilted her head a little before letting her left hand rise up, taking a couple thick strains of hair, she pushed it away, letting her face finally be seen and it knocked Jaz back into the ground, her hands quickly touching her own face. "H-How can this be?"

The women gave a soft smile, a smile that was her own. Under the white locks, Jaz was looking at her own face, staring pleadingly at her. "Take my hand child."

"Who are you?"

"I am…" She began, letting her eyes glance away, "the answers you seek and task you must uphold. I am the creator of this world and many others, I am the angel no one knows but everyone see's. I am what is left, charred in this earth. I am you, now please." She reached out more, her fingers flexing, "Take my hand…"

Something inside of Jaz's chest began to glow at her words and she felt her grace respond. This was it, everything she needed to know. Her lost memories, her feelings towards Dean, the knowledge of her son Castiel, all her questions would be placed at ease. They were all standing before her with bright green eyes. Lifting her shaking hand, she began to reach out, "How did you survive?"

The women gave a warm smile as she took Jaz's palm, pulling her to her feet before embracing her into her arms. Jaz felt a sudden heat explode inside of her, her grace spilling out making her grasp and hold tight, the women's arms wrapped around her back and stroked her hair, pulling her closer, letting their light become one, letting their graces connect.

"Faith."


	10. Chapter 10

Castiel could not move. Slumped on the floor of Bobby's home, the only thing supporting him was a desk, chipped and broken with age. Blood stain on his skin, his clothing feeling cold and heavy around him. During his cries, back at that building he was overcome with guilt and shame for what he had done, what he could not stop. During his shouts, his hands trembling at the innocent blood that dripped from them, he heard a voice, muffled and soft but it was there. Silencing his own voice, he listened, pushing through the evil laughs, the dark shouts to target the lone voice that reached for him in a small light of hope.

Sam…

Looking up to the roof, he heard Sam's voice and heard his prayer. A sudden rush entered his heart over hearing that familiar voice, to hear him whisper to him, offering an olive branch. He had gone and broke that man's mind, he had shattered the innocence he still had, ruining the isolated memories and shattered it. Leaving Dean's younger brother crazy and screaming in pain and down the road, he would just get worse. The images and the memories, they will become too much and Sam would cave to it all. Castiel did that to him and there Sam was, standing strong and firm, his voice calling out, believing in him.

Closing his eyes, he pulled out his wings; they were slick and black telling his faith was rotting away, leaving nothing behind but the small glow of his own grace, a glow that held barely any more power to keep him up right. He knew what he had to do; he knew what he MUST do. Spreading them wide, he threw his head back and disappeared, sending his body across the town, across the land till he fell, landing on his feet in Bobby's. Slumping into a door frame, he looked up to see Sam and Dean sitting there, looking at him shocked and terrified.

Then, with the last bit of remorse he held, Castiel whispered, "Sam… I heard your call..."

"I need help.."

So there he was, sitting on the floor, feeling his grace battling to hold on, to keep the Leviathan tamed, keep them inside. Sam had rushed to help him sit, held his arms tight and strong and when Castiel thanked him and glanced to the other. He didn't stop the frown that touched his bloody lip when Dean stayed seated, staring at him still. Sam was speaking to him, saying something but he wasn't really paying attention, he was watching Dean. Watching him stand to his feet and approach unsure, his face tight and expressionless, not giving one thing away, not letting Castiel see one shred of anything. Castiel couldn't bring himself to look anymore and turned his head away, staring to the ground helplessly.

"Whose blood is on you?" Dean demanded harshly, putting a pause to Sam's voice. Castiel left his lip snarl a little in shame, knowing what would come if he confessed; he didn't want to say because if he did, he knew Dean would look upon him in displeasure. Dean asked again and Castiel blurted it out, his body falling back to the desk. "I have… done something terrible."

That's all he really needed to say. Dean let out a curse, rubbing the back of his neck while Sam pressed his lips, his hand touching Castiel shoulder gently. Shaking his head, Dean threw his arms to his side, pushing his feet to leave the room. "I'm calling Bobby, we need to get this on the road."

Castiel looked to Sam with a frown as the younger brother gave a nod to Dean. Patting his knee, Sam explained what Death was going to do that night and the only way to return both the souls and the Leviathans to their rightful place. With a groan, Castiel grabbed his stomach, feeling the black goo seeping up threw his throat, wanting to escape. He gulped the thick liquid back down, biting back the tears in his eyes from the pain. He needed to hold on, just a little longer. Sam had left him alone to get the car, to bring it around as Dean went to find Bobby and get the show on the road. He was left alone, just like how he started. How a fitting end for him…

A sudden hand touched his hair, pushing his black locks away making him look up. His brows drew forward in confusion before he accepted the relief in his body. Jaz knelt beside him, her face frowning in concern, her hands gently touching his face, tracing the rotten flesh and dry blood. She did not speak but simply stare, her gaze trailing along him until they met his own and what Castiel saw made his lips part. She was young but if one were to look into her eyes, they could see the difference. They could see her years, the knowledge of decades upon decades swirling in those blue orbs. Shuffling a little on the floor, he let out a grunt of pain, feeling the monster try to seep out again, trying to take control.

"Mother." He coughed out, "How…"

"Nothing can hold me back from this." She answered him softly, her fingers never leaving his face, her thumbs brushing at his cheek lightly, caressing him in a way that he wanted to lean forward, wanted bury himself into her. "You..Remember?"

She nodded smiling sadly, "Yes… Castiel, my brave child…"

"I am not brave." He hissed, turning his head away, pulling away from her touch. "I am an insult to the heavens and a monster… I have failed you all."

"No." She snapped quickly, resting her hand in her lap. "You have done the impossible Castiel."

"I murdered hundreds of my brothers and sisters.. I have taken innocent souls from this earth and now, I have lost the last bit of joy I held. I have failed my task."

"You did not fail." She whispered, "You stopped the war, you did what no one else could do."

"But at what cost mother… At what cost?"

She let out a deep sigh, her fingers brushing a strain of her dark hair behind her ear. "There is still time." He let his eyes close then, giving a short nod. "I am going to return the souls to purgatory; I'm going to rid this earth of the Leviathan before they can touch one mortal body."

"It will hurt… Far greater then what you know." She whispered and he only smiled that sad smile, letting his eyes trail to the door that Dean has walked out threw, "Yes… but they will be safe so I will endure it…"

Her fingers touched his own, lacing their fingers together. She rose their hand, bringing them closer to her face. With gentle caresses, her lips touched his knuckles, even thou dirt and sin lingered on them, his skin red from blood he tried to wipe away. She kissed them as thou they were clean and pure. He flinched but was able to let his forefinger seek out, tracing down the side of her cheek lightly.

"I must ask… a favor of you."

She glanced up to him above their joined hand, her eyes misted with such warmth and trust he couldn't keep himself from wishing, from dreaming that one day, Dean could look upon him like that. "Come closer… My body has no energy to move." She nodded in understanding, leaning closer till their forehead touched. He closed his eyes and breathed out, pushing his thoughts into hers; letting her eyes widen at his request. When it was done, he pulled away, panting out deeply, feeling his grace grow even smaller, feeling it tremble at his core begging for no more.

"Castiel… you can't ask this of me…"

"I can and I am." He panted, beads of sweat rolling along his brow. "But if I do this, then there is no other way I can-"

"I don't want you too." He finished, tilting his head up to glance back to her, giving her a weak smile. "You look upon me.. as thou I was your own child, yes?" Her lips twisted in pain, her fingers curling into his palm tightly to keep herself from breaking down. "..Yes.."

"Then as your child… I ask of you… Mother please." His eyes glowed with such rare need, with a plea that only her ears could hear. "Do this for me..."

Foot steps made them both look towards the door, signaling them that someone was returning. Quickly, Jaz bent forward, touching her lips to his temple, bringing Castiel into a hug that poured all her love, all her devotion and all her sorrow. She held him so tightly; he felt she was never going to let him go and for a split second, he did not want her too. With another kiss to his temple, she whispered into his ear, disappearing the second the door opened, leaving him sitting there hurting, alone but for the first time in a long while.

He felt at peace.

_'Be strong…I have faith in you…'_

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><p>Nothing… He felt numb. He was back in the basement, back where it all started and now where it would end. Sam was off getting the last bit of blood needed while Bobby and Dean stood waiting. His body felt drained and tried, he just wanted to close his eyes and let his body shut down. A gentle touch to his shoulder and he heard Bobby's voice speak to him, making his eyes flutter open a little, 'Hang in there, just a couple of minutes.'<p>

Minutes that felt like hours. His grace was barely pulsing at this rate, fearing it would fall victim to the monsters, letting them roam free at last Castiel bit his inner cheek and pushed, causing his grace to stir and cry out weakly to him. Even with his body broken and his grace barely there, he was going to hold on. He tried to make amends to Dean, to make this man, this mortal he cared so deeply for finally forgive him, finally touch him in a gentle caress he longed to have. He tried and it failed, he had done too much, he had committed so many crimes in Deans eyes that he could never be looked upon the same again and finally, with those cold green eyes that looked at him, he listened to him muttered, 'not a bit' when asked if Dean felt better. Castiel just accepted the defeat.

He would not win Dean back and if he went to his death at this act, then he would knowing Dean and his family was safe. At this point, that was all that mattered.

Everything was blurry from there on, his body was pulled and he was placed before the bloody seal, his legs feeling like rubber, his body leaning one way to another. It could not hold him, he could not stand. With closed eyes, he collapse to his knees, his grace begging him to stand but his body begging him to rest, the monsters cheering for him to fall, to give in.

Strong hands grabbed him under his armpits, yanking him back to his feet. A scent, so old and familiar touched his nose and Castiel felt his grace give a pulse, pushing his legs to stiffen, to keep him up. The strong touch went to his shoulder before his back, pulling away quickly when they knew he could stand on his own. A sad smile touched his lips as the seal began to burn, the wall crumbling away. Dean touched him, even if it was in aid, even if it meant nothing. To Castiel, it was the heavens giving him his finally request before fading away. So for one last time, he glanced over his shoulder and looked back.

Dean stood so brave and scared, his body ready for anything and nothing at all. His mortal, his hunter Dean. His righteous man… Castiel took him in one last time, those eyes that burned with such fury but also glowed with delight when he was laughing at a joke or an action Castiel had done unknowingly. Those lips that snarled at him but also gave the purest smile when everything was at ease be it simple food or pleasures. He missed them, all of them. The good moments, the bad, he loved them all because they were his. He got to experience things he could never have in heaven. He got to feel, to see the difference in so many things. He got to eat, to drink, to feel lust and guilt. He felt love and even if it were just for a short time, Castiel would never regret them.

He got to spend his last moments upon this earth with the man he truly looked up too, the man whom stopped the impossible with the help of his family. Castiel got to stand next to the man he loved and no matter how much Dean hated him, Castiel would always care and worship him. Always.

"I'm sorry Dean…"

With that said, Castiel accepted his fate and turned to the wall, letting his eyes see into the black tunnel. Throwing his arms open, he pushed his grace one last time, pushed all of his power he held onto and shoved everything back inside. Light shined around him and he kept going, his grace burning in the pit of his stomach, seeking out every soul, ever monster, every being inside of him, casting them out, back into the gate, back into the darkness below with the holy light. When the last soup left, he felt his grace vanish, like a puff of wind to a flame. His body began to drop, the pieces of his spirit leaving him, letting him fall to the ground in a lifeless thump.

He did it…

He did it…

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><p><strong>Only 3 more chapters to go. Hope ya'll are liking it, -itches cheek- never did a supernatural fic before.<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

_**BEFORE YOU READ THIS, I'M GOING TO LET YOU KNOW SOMETHING**_

**If you have watched the beginning of the 2 esp of Season 7 of SPN, in order to make my story to be short and make since.. I changed**** the outcome. Don't hate it please! It'll make sense and I promise some good ole Destiel if you just hang on. There are answers to 'WHY?' and 'How the fuck?' in the next chapter.**

**Now thats out of the way. Hope u enjoy it!**_  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>'Let him go.'<em>

Dean stared up from the floor in mere panic. Everything had went by so fast, his mind couldn't wrap around the very idea of it and his heart refuse to accept what end fate has given them. Just minutes ago, Castiel had looked at him and muttered his last words before throwing his arms wide, releasing the souls he had once taken to return back into purgatory. He felt his chest squeeze at the sight, the burning light that shined from his old friend's body was so powerful, just like the day Anna got her grace back. He could only assume how much it hurt, how much agony Castiel was in to feel all them ripping back out. When it was all said and done, his heart leaped to his throat when Castiel fell limp to the floor, boneless and silent. His legs reacted faster than his head for he raced across the room, kneeling to the floor to pull Castiel onto his back. To check and see for himself, feeling a small ping of hope that his friend was okay.

He felt the sudden sinking dread in his gut when Castiel did not respond, neither to his voice when he called out his name or his touches when he graced his shoulder. He looked to Bobby for an answer, watching the older man reach down and touched the angel's neck. 'He's cold' and Dean felt his blood turn thick. "Is he breathing?" He reached out then, hovering his hand above Castiels face, barely touching his nose, wanting to feel the warmth of his breath but there was none. His fingers itched to curl and cup his friends face but he pulled away, dread sinking in. "Maybe angels don't need to breath?" He wanted this lie. He didn't want to accept it even thou his brain was calling him a fool. He knew the truth, it was right in front of him. Bloody and broken.

"He's gone Dean." Was all Bobby said and the reality finally came crashing down.

Castiel was really gone. Deans body swam with every emotion he could not show, couldn't even begin to pick. He was sad; he wanted to grab Castiel and shake him awake, to scream at him. He wanted to feel relived, that the worst was finally over but he couldn't. No, all he felt was his throat closing up, his eyes were burning at the need to shed his tears. But he fought it, no. He can't cry, no matter how much his body wanted it, his nerves on fire with the need to touch, to grab his angel, wanting to shelter him like he was suppose too but he fought it. He picked the emotion he was familiar with, the one he could always use and work with. In the end… This was what Dean wanted right? He asked Death to do this… So with a deep breath, he pushed everything back down, willing his tight chest to relax and let him feel the only emotion he could.

One he could play blindly.. He picked Rage.

Squeezing his fist, he took his eyes away from Castiels body, "Damn it." He whispered, pushing himself to stand on unsteady feet. Why did this always have to happen? He could have stopped all of this! Dean could have saved Castiel, could have saved the world and even his brother but his damnable angel wouldn't give. His pride and need made it impossible for Dean to hold onto him, to try and show him the correct way and now look where they were at. He was dead and Dean was alone. Castiel left him alone again.

"Cas you child." He hissed, feeling his throat dry up again, making it impossible to swallow. His rage wasn't cutting it no more, the rare wound of his feelings, the lost was starting to become over whelming. Why? Why did Castiel turn away from him? Why did he seek out others when Dean was here the whole time, did Cas think he LIKED hunting him down? Did Castiel understand anything Dean was thinking? Feeling? He didn't want him to die! He didn't want him to end like this, he just wanted them back the way they use to be! Back before Lucifer and Michael, back before that damn battle. He wanted his angel, his ditzy clueless angel who looked at him as thou he could do anything and everything. Who scolded him but praised him when things were done… He wanted his old ways back… He just wanted Castiel….

"Why didn't you listen to me?"

From there, everything changed.

Castile's body jerked and his eyes snapped wide. Dean had to keep back his bark of laughter to see this. Castiel looked so confused, so lost in understanding of how he came to be still alive. The question lingered on his brain as well but Dean pushed it aside. Castiel was still alive. Reaching down, he grabbed his arm strongly and pulled him back to his feet. He couldn't believe it; his fingers lingered there, trailing down along the sleeve of his forearm before finally falling back to his side. Castiel was really there, standing in front of him, healed and… alive… Castiel stated his confusion and Bobby could only laugh and just accept it. Dean had a small ping of doubt in his stomach and that didn't always end happily. They needed to get out and find Sam quickly before something happened. Something ALWAYS happens. Castiel looked sheepish, his eyes casted down to the ground when he muttered his wrong doing and Dean just reached out and took his forearm again, pulling him to follow.

Castiel stopped him after a few steps, his eyes staring seriously into his own. Dean was shocked by that look, seeing those blue orbs swirl with eagerness, pure rare need with lingering regret. "I will redeem myself to you… I mean it Dean."

That feeling came back and Dean just gave a slow nod in agreement before turning back around, pulling him to leave, they needed to get Sam and get out NOW.

That's where things went bad.

Castiel let out a cry and shoved both Bobby and Dean forward, his voice ripping out, "You need to run now!" Dean spun around and watched Castiel bend forward in pain, his face going red, and his body tight and shaking. "I-I can't hold them back!" His eyes shut tightly and he groan out again, his body bending back, his arms grabbing himself, squeezing, looking like he was trying to keep something from ripping out.

"Hold who back?"

Castiel turned his head away; his body was on fire, everything was going wrong! It was a trick! "A-Ah! They held on inside me." He hissed, tears brimming in his eyes. He needed to get Dean out; he needed them to go away before it was too late. "Dean," he choked out, with a small tilt of his head up, he looked to the hunter, the pain, the worry and shock covering his face. "They're so strong!"

"Who the hell?" Bobby muttered and Castiel felt his control snap, felt whatever was still inside of him shatter into pieces and let the black river of evil and decay run wild into his vessel that he screamed out, "THE LEVIATHAN!" They grabbed his arm and pinned it back as he cried out, feeling them crawl up along his spine, reaching for his head, reaching for his eyes. "I can't fight them!" He saw the black bone linger fingers appear from the corners of his eyes, heard them laugh in his ear as those clawed fingers began to cover him in a cold darkness that all he could do was yell out as he pulled down, pulled into a pool of pain and numbness.

"RUN!"

Dean shoved Bobby, telling him to find Sam quickly. Dean chose to stay behind with Castiel and watched him. He wouldn't leave Castiel again, he was going to help him, and Dean was going to get him through this. His body stilled and locked his knees in readiness when that voice, that unlike Cas voice piped out cheerfully, "Too late!"

From there, Dean felt everything stop. The person in front of them wasn't Castiel. No, it was the Leviathans who smiled with such ugly glee as they told him Cas was gone. Dean couldn't move, couldn't do anything when they grabbed him and hissed "He's dead. We run the show now!" and with no effort at all, they shoved Dean across the room, slamming him into a metal table, knocking the air from his lungs.

That's where he was now, on his side, yelling out his old friends name when Bobby was flung across the room, knocking into another table to land face first into the floor. Dean pushed up onto his forearms, looking back over to Castiel, no that monster, watching him turn, to smile that ugly smile, all teeth and joy as black lines of his vines appeared on the right his face. They were to late…

He was to late…

What was he going to do now?

The Leviathans rolled his shoulders slowly, his head tilting one way to another as he chuckled, his eyes shining with such excitement, that he exclaimed out loudly, "Well, this is going to be, so much…fun.." Dean felt his heart race as the creature began to deeply laugh, the sound sending chills down his spine. He had to do something, he couldn't sit there! But his legs refused to move, his arms locked in pure fear. The creatures, something so powerful that it held onto Castiel, hide away without a notice and took control with such ease. He didn't know what they was capable of so his body just went into shock.

The Leviathans laughed out, fingers curling up to the air. Freedom! Sweet Freedom! Finally, after centuries, after being cast into the darkness of the underworld, they were out! They were going to take back this world and feed, they were going to reclaim what was rightful theirs!

But first… Another dark chuckle left his throat when he looked down to Dean. He was going to feed upon this mortal, rip his heart out slowly and fest on him one beating organ at a time. They felt the angels need to protect this young man and they felt they truly did owe this angels something for letting taking control. Thou he really couldn't stop them if he wanted too. They shall so mercy and will finally let him know how it feels to have Dean truly inside him. They moved his body and took a step towards their target and a slice of white hot pain struck his back. They gasped in pure dumb pain before a flash of red glowed from his eyes. Their true teeth broke out as they roared into the room, its two serpent tongues lashing out before sinking back into their mouth. Some of the creatures were screaming inside the vessel, curling their bodies tight around one other to get away from this sudden attack. Tilting the vessels head down, their eyes came to see a sliver blade sticking out from his ribcage, black blood dripping off the tip. "How?" They hissed out, their powerful voice weak and slurred, hands trembling as they reached out, taking the blade, trying to rip it out completely but it held firm, gripping deep to its core. Blood began to trail down his jaw, soaking the collar of his shirt as they yelled out again in rage, feeling the youngest children begin to parish. "HOW?"

Wings fluttered behind him and when he moved to turn, the blade cut deeper to prevent them from that action, whoever it was, they were keeping them in place. Suddenly the attackers face appeared beside him, letting him see long strains of dark hair and tan flesh. Baring his sharp teeth in a snarl, he turned his head over, to look into a pair of raged filled blue eyes. "You little bitch."

"Let him go." She demanded and twisted the blade making them yell out again, feeling their children scream out and fell over, their bodies withering away to ashes. "You will pay for this!" They hissed, their voice echoing from the man's lips with such rage it made Deans skin crawl, made him want to crawl away and hide. "I'll make you suffer for every one of my children!"

"So will I." She whispered back and suddenly, with her free hand, she placed it before him, letting him stare into an object that caused his face to twist in panic. "NO!" They yelled, "YOU CAN'T!"

"Let him go." She demanded again and with another twist of the blade, her hand erupted into a spotlight of blue light, slapping against the monster, burning its skin and eyes. It screamed, screamed out in pain and agony as the light grew brighter, touching every piece of him, covering him tried to hide form it, tried to cover themselves from the holy light but it was no use. The angel pushed the object into the vessels mouth, pushing the light deeper, sinking threw his veins in a red flame that burned every creature it touched, ripping apart every bone, muscle, and will till they were nothing but a pile of flesh and gore. She held on, her hand burning from the power, blood dripping down the corner of her mouth as she bit her cheek, to keep herself from crying out and to keep herself going, to hang on longer. She needed to get rid of them all.

When the light finally began to fade, Dean lowered his arms than, letting his sore eyes try to focus over the sound of a heavy wet 'thump'. That light was so bright he couldn't watch the event, it made his eyes water and his skin feel as thou someone was trying to set him on fire. When he could look over to the aftermath, his jaw moved wordlessly at the sight.

Castiel's body was slump on the ground, surrounded by a pool of black pool that seem to grow bigger and bigger. In his back laid the handle of an angel blade and when Dean looked up more, he saw her.

"Jaz?"

On the last step of the stairs, Jaz stood panting; her arms limp at her side. She stared at Castiels body silently before collapsing on herself, falling to her rump, her hands touching her jaw to wipe away the blood.

"What the hell did you just do?" He demanded and he watched with narrow eyes as Jaz lifted her head to him, her face blank and drained, beads of sweat trailing down the side of her face.

" … You need to leave…"


	12. Chapter 12

Jaz looked at her hand painfully, seeing her red flesh throb. The glow was far more powerful then she could handle, the second degree burns would heal but not till weeks end. Dean was pushing himself to his feet, his brain rattled at the events. "What just…Cas!" He rushed towards the limp body but Jaz held out her burnt hand, "No! Don't touch him!" She commanded, stilling his movements. "They…They might still be a few left.."

"What the hell man?" Dean looked down at his fallen friend, seeing the black blood seep into the cracks of the floor, staining into the familiar tan trench coat. Dean felt a sudden rage at the sight and wanted to pull Castiel out, wanted to rip those clothes off to get the blood away, to remove everything that was tainted from his angel's face… His lips pressed when he noticed his mistake, feeling dread weigh heavy on his heart. No, Castiel wasn't his, he wasn't an angel and right now… Castiel wasn't even there. "What did you do?"

She bowed her head then, hair spilling over her shoulders to hang limp in the air. "I kept my promise." She whispered, Dean was about to ask her to explain, ask her where the hell had she been! The last time they were face to face, Dean had made the mistake of letting his guard down and made out with her like some needy teenager! When he returned the house, he was a little shocked to not see her follow him, she had followed him the day before and refused to leave his side even when he yelled at her too. He assumed the kiss was crossing a line and numbly, he accepted that he was left alone to keep his family together. That was okay. He fine with okay, he can deal with it. When Bobby questioned where she was, Dean just shrugged and left it alone, leaving the old man to frown and look out the window in slight worry. The next day, Sam had woke up and everything was placed into motion. So much had happened, so much death, chaos. He tried to bind Death, he tried to kill his own best friend in a need to end what endless bloodshed and innocent lives but it didn't work.

Sam was struggling, keeping a brave face and assuring them both he was okay. He would get through it all and Dean could do nothing but watch. NOTHING. That fact ate away from his heart, the failure to protect his little brother yet again. He was the older brother, He couldn't go into Sam's mind and wipe them away, grab all those memories and bury them deep, burn them till there were nothing but a puff of what had been! He knows, he looked! He searched the internet, every book he could find. Nothing!

"What promise?" He was tired, he was sick of feeling helpless; to see every person he cared for slip away from him like sand in his fingers. He wanted this to end, he wanted to finally do something right! He just wanted an answer!

"Go find Sam."

Dean's jaw dropped a little in pure outrage just as Bobby began to stagger his way to his side, clutching his side tightly, muttering out her name in question. Dean was about the attack again but Jaz pushed herself to her shaking feet, her unmarked hand grabbing the wall to keep her balance. "Dean, please do not argue with me." She looked up to him and he suddenly noticed… Something was different. He didn't know how, perhaps it was her eyes, they looked stronger, wiser, they glowed with a different aura then before. "Sam is in trouble… He needs you."

"Sammy?" He frowned, he was in danger? Bobby pushed at Dean side, already making his way towards the door, only to pause and look to Jaz, a lopsided smile on his face when he muttered, "Glad you came back." She returned his smile with a warm one before he wobbled down the hallway, shouting for Dean to follow suit. Dean began to move after him, his eyes staring at her still, not wanting to leave but needing to see what had fallen on his little brother. When he got to her side, he paused, lips parting to speak as her fingers touched his mouth, silencing him.

"I will tell you everything when you return." She promised, her fingers twitching a little before they grazed back, brushing along his cheek. "Everything….No go." Her hand dropped and He felt the warmth prickle his skin from where her fingers had lingered. His teeth clenched and with a short nod, he pointed to her sternly and muttered, "Don't….move…" Accepting her agreement, Dean gave himself on last look to the floor, staring at the back of Castiel feeling the same urge to pick his friend up start to rise. "…Cas…" Turning himself away, he rushed off, chasing after Bobby leaving her to watch, a sad smile on her face.

"Dean…."

She approached Castiel limp body carefully, circling around to his head, watching the blood, watching it slowly begin to seep back, returning to the body. Holding her arms over him, Jaz took a deep breath and let her wings come out; spreading far and wide and with a glare, her eyes flashed white and suddenly the blood hissed and began to burn away. Her fingers flexed in the air, trembling at the power she was pushing, the air vibrating so strongly the blood began to rise up on its own, splatter in the air before burning away to nothing. When she saw no trace left of the poison, she let her power fade and let herself collapse to the ground. Deep pants ripped from her lungs, her body struggling to keep herself sitting up. She was getting weak, her chest fluttered and her burnt hand touched it, pressed gently. "Almost done." She whispered, letting the flutter sink back away. Dropping her hand gently, she touched Castiel head lightly, touching those thick cold locks.

"My boy…" She breathed, moving closer. Her hands cupped his head gently, lifting him with such tenderness, as thou one drop and he would shatter like thin glass. She rested his head upon her lap, turning him so she could see the damage. His mouth was badly burned and his eyes sockets were black and charred. She was glad Dean did not see this face; she did not want Dean to remember this. Reaching down, her fingers gently pushed his limp jaw open, his broken teeth dripped with blood as her fingers reached in removing a shredded brown bit of string. Giving soft little tugs, the object she had shoved in there came out with a heavy 'thunk' to the ground.

Dean's golden charm sat unmarked and shining from the moisture still is Castiel mouth. Smiling, Jaz bent down low, wrapping her arms around his body, pressing her cheek into his shoulder. "You did it…" When she pulled away, his body was healed, gone were the wounds on his flesh from the burning. Eye lids lay over lifeless eyes, smooth and thin. Lips chapped and full laying gray and cold, he looked to be sleeping peacefully upon her lap, waiting for someone to stir him or for his own body to wake him to the day but she knew better. Her fingers traced along his arms, touching the badly damaged coat sleeve to his shoulder. "I have kept my promise to you." She began to tear up, her vision becoming blurry. The flutter in her chest returned and she ignored it, sniffling lightly. "Now… I must keep my own." Tears began to fall down her face as her wings rose up over them, casting its light down. With steady hands, she stroked his hair from his forehead, letting out a half sob half chuckle. "I wish… I truly wish you could see you're not alone. You're not an outcast..." She sniffled, tilting her head to brush the tears from her cheek with her shoulders. "If not here on earth… then in my eyes." Her feathers began to spread, the room around them began to shake, the objects littering around them began to move, jittering on the floor. White symbols began to appear suddenly along the walls, etching themselves into the ground. Bowing her head, she stared at his still face, feeling the dread but not regretting. No, never regret.

"Do you remember that song I use to sing to you? You came to visit me while I was creating a childs paradise and heard me sing to her while she awaited?" She chuckled lightly, the white lines approaching her, casting the room in a thick glow of white and heavy mist. "I wondered if it was childish envy that made you asked me to sing it to you when I was done." Her thumb graced his temple when one of her tears fell upon it, "So worried of being replaced, forgotten by others.. You should have known better." Closing her eyes completely, she began to hum as her wings began to shake, the symbols pulsing out causing mist to swirl up around them from the cracks of the floor, casting them into a fog of nothingness.

Tilting her head back, she sang out lightly, one last time to the air. "Oh my baby Castiel... Close your little blue eyes." Opening her eyes slowly, her tears glittered from her green eyes that began to swirl with her grace. "And I will sing to you.. mama's little lullaby." reaching up, she touched her lips to his face once last time as she whispered out the last notes to her song. "My little lullaby…"

Looking to the ceiling, watching the symbols there grow bright, she began to chant, her voice steady, clam, and strong in her Enochian words.

* * *

><p>"Come on Sam."<p>

Dean pulled his brother down the hall, wanting to return to Jaz as quickly as possible. Bobby and Dean had finally found Sam and the sight was frightening. Sam was pressed against a wall, looking as thou he was struggling with someone but there was no one there. Dean approached quickly and called out his name, over and over again but Sam shock his head and grunted, his neck tense and bare. What the hell was going on? "Sam!" He yelled again and thin time, his brother's eyes shot open and he looked over, staring at him worriedly and in a panic. Dean knew what was wrong, he knew the memories were starting to trickle back in but he couldn't bring himself to take care of it, they needed to get the hell out of there. "Come on." He tugged and once he knew Sam was following, he rushed back down the hall, he called out to Bobby to get Sam outside to the car, and he was going to get Jaz and met them there. He had to get his questions answered and deep down, he wanted to get Castiels body as well.

He was a prick and he made really bad choices but damn it... Dean couldn't leave him here to rot. When he rounded the corner to get to the basement, the air suddenly felt thick. He coughed a little, finding it oddly hard to breathe, his lungs starting to feel pressure as they tried to take in what they could find. A wave of heat hit him causing beads of sweat to suddenly spill along his flesh, his clothing starting to stick to him, his face growing hotter making it uncomfortable. "Jaz!" He called out, his voice burning in his dry throat that he couldn't even get spit to form in his mouth. Something was wrong, very wrong!

His eyes spotted the wide opening to the basement and he rushed through it, his body suddenly felt light when it crossed over the threshold. Fresh air hit his lungs which he took greedily, happily while his body wobbled to regain his balance. His eyes looked to find the black hair angel and the sight made his voice roar out. Jaz's body laid limp on the ground, white lace and satin pooling around her. He ran, his knees skinning across the ground when he fell to her side. "Jaz!" He wasn't gone longer than ten minutes at the most! Grabbing her shoulders, he pulled her lean against his chest, using one hand to push her blond hair from her face.

Wait.

Dean lifted his hand slowly, bringing those locks into the buzzing light above him. Her hair was blond, almost pure white in the light. The strains fell threw his fingertips, falling upon her tan flesh and Dean could only stare at her dumb founded. It was Jaz, he knew it. Her face, it was the same but her hair, it changed. His fingers touched her face, cupping her cheek and he noticed her eye lids squeezing tight before fluttering open. Dean's breath shot short when a pair of green eyes stared up at him. Gone were the soft blue orbs, replaced with a new color that was both beautiful and confusing. She looked up to him for a moment, her breath coming in slow and long. Those pink lips gave a small smile to him before her body arched up, her eyes widening with a gasp. He held onto her tighter and he watched, those green eyes begin to glaze over, sliver light flickering around her small pupils. He's seen this before. "No… no no no!" He looked around helplessly, wanting to find something, anything to stop this. She was losing her grace; he's seen that light when he killed Zachariah.

"Shit, stay with me! Come on!" She let out a groan before reaching up, her hands shaking as they reached for his face. He frowned down at them, he didn't know what to do. "Dean…." She panted, white light flickering within her mouth as her grace began to escape out.

"You were supposed to wait for me." Dean whispered and she gave a painful smile before whispering, "I did…" and with a tap, her fingers touched his forehead and his body felt a pulse of electricity run threw him. He didn't know how, but one moment he was kneeling on the ground holding her, the next he was standing in an open field of green grass. He frowned and turned, searching. Gentle wind was brushing along the hills that surrounded him, colorful flowers dancing. Where was he? A sound of movement and Dean spun around coming face to face with Jaz. She stood a few steps from him, standing straight and strong. "Jaz…?"

A brow rose up slowly in amusement before she gave a soft chuckle, her fingers touching her chest. "Is that the name you gave me?" He narrowed his eyes to that, his mind now unsure. She looked just like Jaz but there was something off, it wasn't 'really' her. "…Who are you?"

She bowed her head to him, her hands folding gently before her lap. " I am the angel you named Jaz."

"What?"

She looked up to him, letting him see sadness in those eyes that it made his legs itch to rush over and hug her, to comfort her. "One tends to forget their name when no one is around to use it." Dean looked around again, his arms wide to the scene. "Where did you take me? What the hell is going on?"

_'Promise me…'_

Dean's eyes widen at the rough voice that seemed to echo around him. His body spun around, his wide eyes searching, he knew that voice. Where was it coming from?

_'Find it… and if I should fail..'_

"Cas?" Dean called; his steps took him one way to another, his eyes searching endlessly. That was Castiels voice, that rough, pained tone that burned into Dean's brain.

_'If I fail… destroy me.'_

"What is he talking about, where is he?" He snapped around and looked back, seeing her stare at the ground quietly. Lifting her arms from her lap, the wind suddenly blew from behind her, sending petals to swirl up and around Dean, taking his attention another way, glancing back over his shoulder. Everything suddenly changed, gone was the fields green replaced by a sheet of white. A sudden chill in the air made Dean's skin tighten and his breath dance in a fog before his lips. He searched, trying to find her but simply finding himself alone. This wasn't making scene, taking a few steps in the snow, he called out her name, his voice echoing in the vast open trees that held no leafs. He was getting frustrated when he found a wide opening, letting him come to a clearing. He was about to call out again when he noticed someone else, he approached the person, letting his eyes get a better look.

The color tan caught his eyes and his breath suddenly stopped. "Cas?" Dean knew who the man was by his back alone. Across from him, Castiel sat on a stone bench; his head hung low between his shoulders. He looked to be praying, the tremble in those shoulders telling Dean he was in a struggle. He called out his name again, hoping those blue eyes would turn and let him see, let him feel Castiel searching his soul like before. Another movement and Dean watched Jaz appear, dressed warmly in a thick coat. He shouted her name as she passed and she gave him no hint that she had heard. What was going on?

Jaz reached out and touched Castiels arm softly, pulling him from his thoughts. She spoke his name and her voice sounded so enduring that Dean felt his nerves melt. Her hand went to furtherer touch the angel, cupping his cheek to brush away the flasks of snow that lingered behind. Dean felt something in him twist when he noticed Castiel lean a little into her palm, his eyes half lidded in some kind of bliss. _"I did not expect to see you."_

They began to talk to one another and Dean grew more and more confused, that was until a hand touched his forearm, jerking him back. Beside him, Jaz stood, but this time she was still wearing the white get up from before. He looked back and forth to the Jaz across from them to the one beside him before asking his question. Jaz looked to the scene with him with a sad smile as she answered. "I am showing you my memories Dean. I'm going to tell you everything."

"What is this? What is Cas doing?"

"Before he opened the door of Purgatory, he had a great fear in him and came here to see our Father in prayer."

"What is this place?"

"Tis my home, one of them that is. I created this place so souls could seek the snow in a time of loneliness and depression. My Castiel liked to visit this place often; I believed he thought the snow could numb away the fear and pain he suffered with."

"Your Castiel? Lady, who are you?"

She smiled then, her fingers messing with her own lace sleeves. "I am the creator of your souls Paradise; I seek your memories and give you the ones you hold dear to be repeated upon the end of days so you will forever be at peace. I am the angel whom took you and your brother and created your paradise, I was the one whom told Castiel of your death so he could use you to help him find God. I am," she paused for a moment, watching the memory of herself take Castiel by his hand and pull him away into the white field.

"His mother."

"Wait, your Cas's mom?"

She rose a brow to him before giving a nod. Dean felt a sudden twist in his gut. Crap, he just went and made out with Cas's mom. "I think I'm going to be sick." That would explain a few things, why when her eyes were blue looked so similar to his. Her blank and confused expressions, those head tilts, it was all Castiels expressions, his mannerisms and Dean felt that hole that was made begin to be filled once again. He glanced back to the scene; watching the memory of Jaz touch Castiels cheek once again and whisper to him, watching his friend give a sad nod to her words.

"You're his mother." Dean whispered, "Why didn't you stop him?"

"He truly believed he's way was right."

"It was wrong! Look where it got him!"

"It was Castiels choice to risk his life."

"and everyone else's? Why didn't he just talk to me! We could have found another way!"

She stared him him quietly, "Dean… He truly do not see another." He let out a frustrated sigh at her words, "there is and we would have found it."

"You do not understand the depth of pain and death Raphel was going to place upon you and your brother. Dean, you must try to see this from Castiel's eyes. If his older brother took charge, then everything you two have fought for, everything Sam and yourself have done, the sacrifice would have been for nothing. Micheal would have Adam and Lucifer to Sam. Castiel could not let that happen, so he picked the only way to stop it."

"Well he picked wrong. The stupid bastard." Dean muttered, flinching when her hand reached out and cupped his face softly, turning his gaze to look upon her. "I could not stop him Dean… but I offered something in exchange." He stared into her eyes when she smiled, lifting her free hand up to let his eyes rest upon the golden charm that once hung loosely around his neck. "That piece of junk?"

"Castiel feared the result of taking so much power into his vessel. He feared he would change and not be the angel you once trusted and befriended. So I offered him an ease of mind." The necklace began to hover within the air between them. "The last time I saw my son, he was praying to our Father and he whispered his fear of change and I gave him a way to pursue his task with no doubt. I offered to hold onto his grace."

"You can do that?"

"I am an elder, far older and powerful then the angels you have met Dean. I was placed away from the others so my mind and honor would not be stained with hate and greed. I asked Castiel to let me take a portion of his grace into myself and protect it. If his fear was truly real and he is lost. I could correct the mistake. All I needed was the power of God."

"Of God?"

"It takes a great deal of power and will to take a portion of anothers grace and place it in yourself, takes even 'more' to return it. I am an elder so to take him into me would weaken me. I would not be able to fight as fast and my powers were limited. It takes even greater power to pull it back out and return it, the ones whom done this ritual have never survived. Yet, we had a charm that could grant us a way." The charm began to glow, letting its pulsing light brush along their bodies making Dean shiver and Jaz to close her eyes.

"Do you know why this charm glows when God is close? For a part of our Father is within it. You had the power of God around your neck for years Dean, when you and Sam were killed in the church when Lucifer rose? The necklace protected you two just as it was supposed to protect any soul it came upon." Taking the leather straps that hung limp in the air, she moved it to slide around his neck. "With this power, I could place back Castiel's grace into his empty vessel and bring back the man we both adored and loved without risking my own death."

"… Can we still?" Dean's words were soft and hopeful, his eyes staring at the glowing charm before it began to fade, lowering itself upon his chest, the coldness of the metal seeping into his shirt to his chest, letting him feel emptiness he never felt when he wore it before.

"…No… The power is gone." She lowered her hands then, "He made me promise.."

"You used it on him…"

"If the Leviathans took control of him, if he failed to put them back in purgatory… Then I had to stop them." Lowering her eyes to the ground, she whispered, "With the sword of Gabriel and the power of God, only then can the Leviathans be slain. Castiel had me seek out his brothers' sword and use that necklace to stop your world from being burned… To protect you and your family."

Dean felt the coldness sink into his stomach. He truly lost Castiel, the selfish bastard was willing to die one way or another and all because of him, for him. Reaching up, he touched the charm, wanting to feel the warmth again, wanting to feel something other than this emptiness. "… Cas…"

He heard her gasp and her body fell to its knees. Dean dropped to his own, catching her in his arms, seeing once again her green eyes flashing with sliver light. "Wait, whats happening?" Her back arched a little as she gasped out, her hands snatching his forearm tightly. "A-Ah… I-I don't... Dean please..."

"Jaz tell me what's happening!"

She let out a painful groan, her head falling back, "He will need you, more than ever now." She panted, her skin was beginning to feel cold, the light in her eyes beginning to fade causing him to shake her roughly, trying to keep her focus. "Who are you talking about?"

She went limp in his arms then, her eyes staring up into his own. The world around him went black and quiet letting his ears simply hear her deep breaths, "…. Have faith… in him…" She whispered out, her eyes lids fluttering to a close, covering those dull orbs. "Then…perhaps… He may fly again…"

Her breath came out in a slow drag and the light that shined in her, finally went out, leaving her limp and cold in his arms. Dean frowned, shaking his head a little before shaking her. He called out her name, shouted it but she laid still, her head rolling back. Baring his clenched teeth, he bowed his head into her chest and hugged her close. The field around them began to fade, the grass under his knees sinking down and becoming the dark gray of cement. When Dean lifted his head, he found himself back in the basement where everything started. Tucking Jaz gently under his chin, his hand stroking her back he began to let everything started to sink in, the events, the actions and her words.

He was alone again, with no one else to turn to.

Just like always.

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><p><strong>I hope ya'll like these chapter... I rewrote this thing like five times. I have one last chapter to go and it'll answer alot of questions and fill in alot of blanks from this chapter. RR are welcomed**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author notes: **

**1... Yeah I totally lied, the next chapter will be last. This part was suppose to be small but I kinda got carried away so I just threw in another chapter. Sorry if it confuses you!**

**2. In the chapter you learn Jaz real name. Do no bash, i kinda changed a few things like the gender and the plot to fit my story. Calm down.**

**3. Once again, reviews are welcome. It helps to know if this story is actually good XD**

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><p>It all started with a grace...<p>

'I can not believe I'm letting you talk me into this.'

The sky was clear of any clouds that day, a beautiful blue that could take any mortal breath away. A gentle breeze traced along the meadow, stirring the sleeping flowers from their daze. Beside a lake that rippled gentle along its surface, Jaz sat. Little animals surrounding her; it was almost like a fairy tale if you looked at it from the outside. Little birds flew around aimlessly, singing out to the sunlight while furry little creatures rolled around her playfully in the warm green grass. Leaning over the water's edge, she peered onto the surface to see her own reflection, her right hand holding up a lock of her blond hair.

'I will look silly!'

Beside her reflection, another face appeared. A blue eye man with thick black ruffled hair looked upon her questionably but she could sense that small amount of amusement in those eyes. Castiel tilted his head to her, those thin chapped lip lifting a little in a smile as his voice whispered into her ears even thou his mouth did not speak any. She gave a huff before rolling her eyes, her left hand collecting an amount of her hair in front of her face and with a deep breath she sliced the strains, letting the hair fall to her lap. Letting go, she raised her brow to her new cut, her bangs brushing unevenly across her forehead. She heard the echo of Castiel chuckle and she huffed, 'Shut up this was your idea.' Taking a few strands, she began to trim them to a more acceptable cut, framing her face perfectly. Once done, she gave a grin to her new look, fingers brushing the bits of hair that tickled her cheeks and nose.

"You know what? Seeing it now.. It's not that bad." She looked to see Castiel give a nod of agreement but they both jolted, another voice ripping into their peaceful afternoon causing her animals to scatter quickly away.

"I agree sister. It makes you seem so…human…"

Lowering her hands to the ground, her green eyes settled to Castiel, seeing his face tighten in a grim expression. Her grace gave a pulse to sooth him, tucking him back away inside of her core before she faced her intruder. Rising to her feet, she turned to the group, her lips a frown. In the middle stood their leader and someone she did not except to see.

"Raphael… It is indeed a surprise to see you."

Raphael narrowed her cold eyes slightly at Jaz before looking down to her drink, swirling the red liquid inside. "Yes, as it would be." Behind her stood two other angels, men dressed in their black suits, staring at her silently and emptily. Jaz felt a shudder inside of her chest and she forced a smile on her face, trying to calm the grace down. "What brings you to my realm?"

"Your realm?" Raphael sneered, brushing off a piece of invisible grass that seemed to dare touch her clothing. "Why father would waste his time on making sure these… fur-less monkeys have a happy ending is beyond me."

"That's why he gave it to me."

"Yes, the sole believer. To this day, I still wonder why you love these creatures so much." Raphael began to walk towards her and Jaz kept her ground, not wanting to give anything away. Jaz followed her with her eyes, her arms staying limp to her side as her sister spat out "They are mindless, flawed and all honesty a waste of flesh and air."

"They are what we will never be." Jaz answered her making those lips sneer, which made her smile. "Tell me why you are here." She demanded. "You have never visited me before nor the others, why now?"

Raphael let out a deep sigh, staring out onto the lake that seemed to stand so still that for a moment, one would think it were a sheet of glass. "There is a dilemma." She began, lifting her glass to her lips. "Father has left the spotlight, Michael and Lucifer are trapped in that damn box and the heavens are running amok. I have taken it upon myself to take fathers place and begin, once again, the end of the world like it was suppose to it. Break our brothers out from the cage and end this world once and for all."

"Why?" Jaz turned to her, her fingers curling into her palms to stop herself from reaching out, to shake some sense. "Leave the earth alone, let the humans run their course and live out their own lives. Father gave us our jobs and we must carry it out!"

"Like I said." She smirked, "Father has stepped out of the light. I'm in charge now and I have come.." She turned to Jaz than, fingers letting the glass go to drop into the air where it suddenly vanished before touching the ground. "To ask for your help."

"Help?" She took a step back; her wings flickered into sight, moving restless upon her back, feathers sticking out on edge in warning. She did not like her sisters look, not at all. "I am merely an angel of the mortal paradise. I can not leave my realm until the last mortal enters. What could you possible want from me?" That smile got bigger and the pit of her stomach began to grow making her nerve scream. Something was wrong, very wrong.

"You are no mere angel sister." Raphael began, opening her arms to her, her body moving to pace around her, waving out to the field and skies. "Father gave you a little of himself to run this realm, you are far more powerful than our other siblings." The two men that stood idly by suddenly appeared behind Jaz, blocking her in. "He gave you the power to run this place and connect to every soul; I want you to use that on me."

Her grace suddenly went on high alert, she felt Castiel began to retreat, trying to hide, trying to seek escapes. She wrapped the arms of her grace around him, trying to comfort him, to ease his mind. As long as he stayed hidden, perhaps she could get them to leave. "What are you asking?"

Raphael gave a scoff, turning away to walk out a couple of steps onto the grass, her eyes looking up to the blue skies, causing gray clouds to suddenly appear. "Castiel." She began, "Your…son." She snarled, " Has been trying to over throw me and my plans. Believing in the mindless mortals and their suppose 'free will.' He is close to opening purgatory." Thunder began to roll, echoing across the meadow. "I can not have that. Time is running out and his location is still unknown. There is a chance… that I will fail." Lightening suddenly struck down, the sounds of wood splitting making Jaz's spine stiffen. She turned to Jaz then, a smile on her face. "That's where you come in dear sister." A hand to her chest, she moved close, invading the personal space Jaz had. "A word from the wise has given me a spell. A spell that only a few angels can cast." Looking away, she waved to the guards to take a few steps back. "A spell that is very deadly if used incorrectly."

"What spell?"

"If I can not reach Castiel in time, he will be more powerful than any other. More powerful then father himself and that would not end well for me so I need a backup plan so to speak.

I need you, dear sister, to take my grace and hold onto it for me."

The very air seemed to disappear from her lungs, Raphael could not be, no. "You're asking me to share your grace?"

"You should be honored." She remarked, "Since father has granted you the gift to handle these mere souls, holding onto mine couldn't be as difficult."

"Mortal souls are different, to hold onto your grace I would need a holy object in which to contain it or-"

"A body." She finished happily, "Your body to be correct. I have looked into it and yes, there are some risk's but I know I have chosen right. With the power father has given you, you shall take a part of my grace into you and keep it safe. I will leave these two to your aid." She bowed her head to her guards whom bowed to reply. "They shall protect you if anyone posing a threat until my command. Now, let's get this started, we don't have a lot of time."

A step towards her and Jaz quickly backed away, her hand quick to touch her own chest, "I won't do the spell." She stated firmly. "You want to end the world and kill the innocence our father had born. I shall not help you murder them." A flash of rage covered Raphael face for a beat before it was suddenly wiped away. "Oh?" She mused, "So, you still stand behind your son? Even after what he has done? He has split blood, OUR blood. Does family mean nothing to you?"

"I will always stand with my child. He is the only family I have. You and the others don't even care enough to visit. Why should I protect them?"

"Be as it may… I am still surprised that you would still stand with him, even after he killed your lover?"

Her breath left her again at those words. Green eyes going wide in shock, her hand fluttering at her chest before she gripped her blouse, squeeze tight. Her grace weakened, those arms lowering slowly from Castiel causing him to whimper to her, his arms reaching for her to once again hold on, to protect him. Raphael let out a deep ugly chuckle, her arms crossing over her chest. "You didn't know?" Tsking, she shook her head, "It was a shame really. Balthazar was truly one of a kind. It seemed he betrayed Castiel and our little Cas did not like it so." With a shrug of her shoulders, he sighed, "Stabbed him in the back I was told. Thou, that bastard did kill off my old vessel forcing me to find a new one. Still rough way to go by the hand of your own friend."

Tears began to spill down her face, her heart racing to beat the pain it was feeling. Balthazar. "No.." She whispered, her voice cracking.

"Yes." Raphael whispered, suddenly appearing before her, touching her grief stricken face, wiping away her tears. "When Zachariah took your son, you asked Balthazar to watch over him since you could not. Condemned to this realm making it impossible for you to leave, to be with them like a family you so wish ever sense you took charge here. Your lover, whom you begged to protect Castiel, died by his hands. Can you forgive him? Forgive Castiel for taking away the one person whom loved you?" Leaning forward, her voice whispered into Jaz ear making fresh tears fall, ripping a sob from her throat.

"Could you forgive him Ridwan?"

She pulled away from Jaz, watching her tremble at the utter of her true name. Raphael smiled to herself in pride, being alone for so many years, no other siblings wanting to see her, leaving her alone to do her task, watching the mortals paradise, seeing her grace slowly losing itself in impossible dreams. Raphael knew she would get her way by uttering that name, a name her sister had long forgotten. To remember it, why she would gladly do her bidding, just like last time when Raphael requested her to seek out the Winchester's souls when they died, to help find them and place them back upon the earth.

"Now… Help me."

Jaz, no, Ridwan looked up to her slowly, her expression blank and strong even in the state of tears. She awaited Ridwan agreement, needing to get this over with so she could get back on track. She had to find Castiel first before it was too late and he opened the door.

"No."

Eyes widen in shock when she finally answered. "What?" Her lips pressed in a thin line as her wings fluttered, spreading wide, trying to make herself bigger, to threaten. "I will not help you. Not against my son."

"You would help him after all he has done?" She spat in outrage. "Then you are a traitor to your brethren." Taking a step away, she spit on the ground before snapping her fingers. "Kill her."

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><p>She stumbled across the field, her body wrecked and pulsing. Blood dripping down her jaw on ever exhale, right hand holding tight to her side where a wound laid gaping open, her white grace pulsing out. She ran, coughing, trying to reach an area of hiding. She had jumped into so many universes. Fell into so many mortals paradise she had forgotten where she was but all she knew, every time she took a breath they were there. They followed her with every flap of their wings, fighting her, trying to take her down. The mortals walked by their fight without notice, no care to her cries. No one would help her, she was on her own. Castiel's grace pulsed for her, trying to keep up her strength she lacked for keeping him trapped inside. It wasn't enough.<p>

She managed to take down one of the guards, slicing his chest with his own angel blade before the other pounced her. She may not be as fast or as strong anymore but she was an elder and she had something they lacked.

Power.

With a cry, her eyes flashed white and her right hand struck his forehead, gripping his grace tightly in his cry. She ripped it away from his core, flinging it to the sky so it would wonder lost in her realm. His body went limp and fell to its side but not before a flash of pain sliced her. Her skin tightened as her nerves screamed. Castiel's voice echoed in her ears of fear when she glanced down, her shaking hands hovering above the object. A sliver blade dripping with her own blood peered out from her side, cutting into her vessels organs, ripping away the muscle and tissue but also catching her grace, feeling the metal seep it away. A cough of blood ripped from her throat as she took hold of the handle, red teeth clenching tightly against the pain of pulling it out, the gaping wound hissing with light. All it would have taken was just a twist of the handle and a push closer to her core and she would have been done.

The skies clashed suddenly with lightning and thunder, making her tense and push to her shaking feet. Raphael was close, she needed to leave and get as far away as she could to heal. Opening her wings, she took flight from one level to the next, her hands gripping her bleeding side tightly. She whispered, needing to make sure Castiel was okay that the blade did not touch him. His answer pulse made her smile, she took the full force and he laid untouched, good. She just needed to get back to the field, the holy ground of her realm. There she would be able to heal and fight her brother head on.

So there she was, back upon her holy ground. She felt the power of her father begin to wrap around her, the strength he had placed upon the field the day he handed it over to her. It wrapped around her tightly, trying to sooth her pain. She would be fine, she could make it.

If only that were so.

It happened so fast, standing alone in her open field. She had closed her eyes for just a moment, letting the healing begin when the unthinking took place.

"Your defense is down."

That was her only warning before Raphael appear, wasting no time to stab her blade into her chest. Her body went ridged and tight, her eyes flashing white in pain as she stared up at him bewildered and pained. Those eyes, those cold black eyes gave a small glint of ugly satisfaction, her voice rumbling low. "Is seems… you are carrying more than your share of weight."

Raphael knew, she knew all along what Radwin had done. Her lips trembled, feeling her body begin to shake, her grace screaming out as it started to rip away from her core, leaving her cold. She heard Castiel voice threw it all, shouting at her, causing tears to slowly spill from her wide eyes.

'Mother! Mother!'

"Cas….." Was all she whispered before Raphael snarled and twisted the blade, giving one last shove into her to finish the job. The light began to fade, the body giving up the fight. Ripping the blade away, Raphael watched her fall, slumping to her back lifelessly. With flick of her wrist, she tossed the blade, watching the ground around the fallen begin to die, the green grass turning brown and rotting away to dirt, letting the imprint of her wings scar the ground with embers and ash. The mark of an angel's death.

"You should have listened sister." Raphael sighed, turning her back to the sight, "just like the others." And with that, a flap of her wings and she was gone.

If Raphael had stayed, then she would have witness a true miracle in which no one could explain.

The very ground began to shake, cracking the surface around her body. Like weeds, vines began to seep out, twisting, wrapping around one another in a tightly knitted patch, allowed the trees that began to stretch up a place to root and grow. Branches, bare of any leafs began to grow out, the vines covering them instead to block out the sunlight, to cast her body and her wings in shadow. Even as the shelter was made, once the shadow was cast, something happened.

Those wide dead eyes began to glow white once again, blue lips suddenly going pink in a deep breath. Pale skin pulsed with a new beat, a new life as her flesh began to darken. Limbs began to tremble upon the ground, turning onto her side to cough the blood from her throat, the wound on her chest beginning to seal away, leaving nothing behind. The vines above her began to reach down, curling themselves into her body, lifting her up away from the blood stain floor and burning wings. Together they began to rip part her gown, shredding the white fabric till her skin laid bare to their touch. Upon those vines flowers began to bloom, brushing along her tan skin, covering her to the cold air as she began to move restlessly, those glowing eyes looking around in fright. Her voice came out in a whimper but those vines held her gently, coaxing her to relax and lay onto them.

Gentle vines brushed along her forehead, pushing at her blond bangs that began to bleed black, every root; every strain changing their color till not a peek of yellow could be seen. They lowered her then, settling her upon her back to stare onto them, leaving her dressed in a new gown, simple and black. They hovered over her, watching, waiting until the light faded from her eyes, letting them see the stunning blue orbs. If they had mouths, they would have smiled onto her yet they simply touched her forehead, tracing down along her nose. A burst of white soft light seeped from her chest causing her back to arch up, her lips to part in a gasp. Unfolding from her back, a pair of new wings spread along the dirt flood, pure white feathers reaching out, taking up the room the shelter gave. They flinched and spread, so long, so beautiful. Settling again upon her back, those blue eyes began to search in the darkness, hands flinching at their sides. Her voice came out in another whimper, her face covered in fear and uncertainty.

The vines gave off a gentle hush of wind that traced her body, rustling her clothing. Movement at her side caught her attention, a golden glint handling off in a distance slowly beginning to approach her, making her trembling hand reach out, letting the vines wrap a black leather strap around her wrist, laying the golden charm upon her stomach. Her lips moved to speak but the vines simply withdrew, curling back into the branches. She laid there, limp and worn, eye lids drooping down sealing her in darkness of sleep.

When they opened again, she found herself alone in a strange place with a strange dark hair man whispering upon a stone bench to the cold winter air.

"_That's why... I'm asking you father. One last time."_


End file.
